Caged
by iKiohri
Summary: AU. He was obsessed with her and was prepared to do anything to possess her. She hated him and wanted to be with someone who cannot have her. Alas, the greatest irony of love: loving the right person at the wrong time. RyoSaku/KiriSaku.
1. Trigger

**This is a story that has been stuck in my computer for a while now. I decided to publish and complete it since I'm still deciding what to do with "The Island." There are so many plot bunnies in my head for that story and finishing this fic is a way to kill one of those jumping bunnies. **

**Anyway, updates for this one might be more frequent than usual since I've already written about ¾ of the story. It will be short, about 4-6 chapters in length.**

**That being said, happy reading!**

* * *

**[CAGED]**

_.Alternate Universe._

_[RyoSaku / KiriSaku]_

* * *

**Trigger**

_On the way to deliver food to her grandmother_

_Litter Red Riding Hood met a dangerous wolf_

_A big bad wolf with __**golden eyes**__…_

* * *

_Edo (Tokyo), April 1692_

Her footsteps lightly echoed in the hallway as her wooden sandals hit the floorboards. With a basket in one hand, and the other clutching the skirt of her peach kimono in a futile effort to hike it up, the petite eighteen-year-old girl ran through the wooden veranda of one of the most private sections in Edo castle. Her long twin braids flew enticingly after her form.

_Why did she oversleep today? Her obaa-chan must be hungry by now._

She had the simple task of delivering lunch to her grandmother. Although the Ryuzaki family belonged to the lower class in the 17th century Japanese caste system, her clan has had the privilege of serving the ruling family for decades.

There was nothing special or notable about them. They were simply servants in the castle. Her grandmother was the only Ryuzaki who ever managed to elevate her social status. Sumire Ryuzaki's impressive intellect and varied skills enabled her to eventually become an adviser and mentor to a group of young _samurai_ elites.

To think that she's forgotten to do a simple errand for the hard-working old woman due to her clumsiness was just unforgiveable. It was already past noon and Sumire hasn't had lunch yet. What makes things worse is that she is expected to resume her classes soon and she wouldn't have time for another break until dinner.

Sakuno halted in the middle of a hallway and turned her head toward the opened courtyard in the center of intersecting verandas. Beyond the white sand of the courtyard was a Japanese garden that harbored a modest _koi _pond. Over the pond was a bridge that connected the area to another garden that was in another part of the castle.

Scrunching her eyebrows a bit, she calculated her chances. She had the feeling that if she used the bridge to cross over the gardens, she'll make it to the training grounds of the castle in a shorter amount of time.

_She doesn't have time to think._

Sakuno took a deep breath and just decided to take her chances.

She ran across the courtyard, to the garden, over the bridge, and then to the other garden. When Sakuno saw nothing but trees and grass in the area, she was starting to get worried as she thought she made the wrong decision. She didn't recognize the area where she was at. She didn't even know that such an area exists within the palace walls.

Nevertheless, she continued running across the garden. Perhaps, the other section of the palace was just farther than she expected.

She was in the middle of her run when something grey and furry suddenly flew across her vision. Surprised and shocked, she momentarily closed her eyes and was unable to stop the momentum of her speed until she finally crashed against a hard wall and fell on top of it.

'_On top…?'_

The brunette let out a gasp as she realized that she had fallen on a person. Abashed, she quickly propped up her head and got off the individual. Sakuno crawled back to give the person some space and kneeled before the individual she just crashed against.

"_G-gomen nasai. Gomen nasai._ I wasn't looking where I was going. _Gomen nasai_," she mumbled repeatedly, while continuing to bow her head to the ground.

Though her eyes remained downcast, she saw from her periphery that the person she crashed against had languidly stood up and brushed away invisible dirt from his royal black_ gi_.

Her eyes froze in horror and her form stilled.

'_Oh no…'_

Involuntarily, her eyes glanced up.

She saw a grey _hakama_, two _samurai_ swords at his waist that marked his ranking, a royal black _gi_, and the golden crest that signified his clan. His _royal_ clan…

As her eyes roamed further up, she saw gorgeous golden eyes underneath greenish-black bangs. Their color matched the golden crest embroidered on his upper clothing. He was staring at her with a neutral expression—his face remaining blank and his eyes inscrutable.

'_Oh my gosh, no__…_'

She had just crashed and clumsily fallen on top of His Highness, Echizen Ryoma…the crowned heir to the Echizen empire, the military regime that ruled all of Japan.

She was dead.

She was literally dead.

* * *

When she heard him taking steps toward her, her body was paralyzed in fear. Even low-ranking _samurais_ were allowed to cut peasants out of pure whim. What more if it's the crowned heir of the military empire? Include the fact that she just rudely crashed against his body and made him fall to the ground. She should definitely not expect a punishment that was lighter than death. In fact, she would be lucky if he would make it instant and painless.

She closed her eyes in fear and bowed her head in front of him.

He stopped when he was about a foot away from her.

"_Anata…dare?_" he said in a cool voice, which was laced with boredom.

It was probably the first time she heard his voice within a mile distance. She found that although his voice was devoid of emotion, it was mysteriously alluring and hypnotizing. The heir was only a year older than her, and yet he was already a highly-accomplished _samurai_ who was feared and admired by even the most skilled warriors in Japan. He was not only royal, but also cunning and deadly—the best combination of skills that people look for in a competent military leader.

Sakuno dipped her head closer to the ground before she spoke in a shaking voice.

"A…A servant girl, Your Excellency. Just a servant girl. Please forgive me! I was merely—"

"I asked _who_ you are. Not _what_ you are."

Her breath momentarily hitched in her throat and she tried to force the answer out of her mouth. The fact that he was asking for her name meant that he was planning a graver punishment for her. Perhaps, he's even thinking of extending the punishment to her entire clan.

She was almost in tears when she considered what the consequences of her mistake will do to her grandma and her family.

"S-Sakuno. Ryuzaki Sakuno."

There was a pause in which a gentle breeze blew against their forms. It sent Sakuno's bangs and pigtails fluttering in the air. Echizen Ryoma just stared at her.

An interruption came in the form of a lazy _meow_ that came from their right side. Sakuno turned her head slightly toward the noise and saw a giant Himalayan cat trying to claw at her forgotten basket. When she had crashed against the young lord earlier, it had fallen off to the side where it had lain forgotten until then.

The cat apparently caught Ryoma's attention as he walked toward it and the basket it was trying to pry open.

"Karupin."

One call of his name and the cat snapped out of his current obsession with the basket. As if on cue, the feline jumped over to Ryoma's shoulder. But the cat didn't turn out to be Ryoma's target...

It was the basket.

Ryoma picked up the wooden container in one fluid movement and opened the lid. Rice balls of different shapes and forms peered up at him from the basket. Some of them had gotten deformed from the recent fall.

Swishing his tail left and right on Ryoma's back, Karupin was also staring at the rice balls as if tempted to devour them all. However, he dutifully held back and waited for his master's decision.

To Sakuno's surprise and horror, she saw the crowned prince take one of the rice balls in her basket and take a bite from it. His face remained expressionless as he chewed and swallowed the piece.

Her face instantly blanched.

Cheap rice balls were hardly the appropriate food for a royalty like him!

Aghast, she weakly protested, "E-Echizen-sama…"

"Did you make these?" he asked, now contemplating the rice balls.

She bowed her head before she softly replied a shaky "_hai_."

"They taste horrible," he commented bluntly.

Though Sakuno had expected him to be displeased with her hand-made food, she still felt stabbed by his words.

"_G-gomen nasai_," was all she could mumble.

"Don't be," he replied, taking another bite from the rice ball in his hand. "It must take incredible talent to make something as simple as _onigiris_ taste horrible."

His insult silenced her again but she managed to muster up the courage to look up at him. She saw that he was staring right back at her. The brunette was a little unnerved by it and she was tempted to look back down, but then he made an action that stole her attention.

He grabbed, not one, but _two _more _onigiris_ from her basket before laying it down on the ground beside her. She froze in anticipation as she waited for what he was planning to do next. She was once again surprised when he just passed by her without even bothering to give her another glance as he left her alone in the garden.

* * *

The next few days were pretty uneventful for the brunette. She waited and waited for the coming "punishment" that she expected Ryoma would give her. But it never came.

Nobody suspected anything either, except her grandmother. The old woman did not ask questions. She just gave Sakuno pointed looks from time to time.

More days went by and Sakuno was finally ready to forget about the incident. But then, exactly two weeks after she met Ryoma in that garden…

"Go…pick berries?" Sakuno stammered out. The supervisor of the palace girls merely shrugged uncaringly and handed Sakuno the basket. The brunette recognized that it was the same basket that she often used to carry _onigiris_ to her grandmother during her training days.

"An odd order from a higher-up, but an order nonetheless. Go before you displease them." The older lady made _shoo-ing_ motions and pushed Sakuno toward the direction of the place she instructed the brunette to go to.

Sakuno was confused. As far as she knew, there were no berries in Edo Castle. Even if there were, it is not the season for them.

* * *

"E-Echizen-sama…"

She covered her mouth too late. The name already slipped out before she can stop it. The crowned heir to the empire was standing under a tree in the garden when she got to the place. This time, he was clad in an elegant white _gi _and blue _hakama._ They resembled the training clothes that affluent members of the royal clan often wore when they practiced _kenjutsu_. When Ryoma turned to face her, she saw an annoyed expression flitting past his face.

"What took you so long?"

Sakuno blinked innocently.

"_Eh?_"

The crowned prince's eyes narrowed at her answer.

"_Che,_ forget it. Just hand them over."

"_Eh?"_

Her oblivious answers were starting to annoy him so he just took action. He started to approach her.

Sakuno dropped to her knees and bowed to the ground out of habit. Conventionally, she was supposed to do that whenever she was in the presence of a high-ranking official. And yet, with all of the surprises, she momentarily forgot herself.

She shook a bit when she felt Ryoma's presence near her. However, like before, his target had been the basket that was lying innocently beside her.

He opened it and his eyes displayed displeasure when he saw nothing inside the basket.

Sakuno could only frown at the young lord.

"Where are they?" he calmly asked.

"Y-Your Excellency?"

"The _onigiris_."

If Sakuno was confused before, she was utterly bewildered by then.

"I-I wasn't aware I was supposed to bring _onigiris_. _Gomen nasai_, I'll ask the cook to—"

"I don't want theirs," he said, voice louder than usual. "Why are you so slow?" Ryoma asked in annoyance.

It was only then that Sakuno began to realize that he meant he wanted _her_ _onigiris_. Now, the implication of being handed the _same basket_ and being directed to the_ same location_ made more sense to her. It was he who orchestrated her visit to the garden. He was _indirectly_ asking her to make him more _onigiris_.

Her cheeks flushed into a pretty shade of red and the maiden bowed before the heir in embarrassment. "_Gomen nasai_. I was too stupid to realize. I-I shall make some right away!"

Ryoma looked away from her, though he looked placated by what she said.

"I can only hide from my tutors for a few more minutes. Hurry."

"Y-yes, Your Highness!"

* * *

It has become a habit.

Her supervisor would ask her to "pick some berries" and she knew what to do.

Initially, she would just deliver the _onigiris _to him and leave him be. But then, one day, he had asked her to stay while he ate them. She wanted to ask why, but knew she was in no place to do so. He was appointed to be the next military ruler of Japan. He can ask her to jump off a cliff and she would be bound by obligation to follow his wish.

The young lord rarely talked when they were together. Sakuno figured he was naturally a private man. She didn't mind though. She knew she was incapable of offering any intelligent opinions about any topic that he might wish to discuss. Hence, they usually just sat together in companionable silence, almost at ease with each other's company.

Little did Sakuno know that Ryoma often observed her during their quiet moments together.

* * *

The other servants in the palace had started to become suspicious. Once, there were some palace ladies who had accidentally seen Sakuno and Lord Echizen together and had gossiped. Conveniently, they had "mysteriously" vanished from the palace the very next day and were never heard from again.

Nobody knew what happened to them. That, or nobody wanted to talk.

"I-Is something wrong, E-Echizen-sama?" Sakuno asked in her timid voice. She had seen the heir pause and stare at the rice ball in his hand.

Actually, she knew what was wrong. He had finally noticed the special rice ball she decided to make for him that day.

Ryoma was silent for a few more seconds before he asked, "Is this supposed to be me?" He continued to stare at the rice ball that was modeled after him. It had slanted angry eyes and spiky bangs that were made of cut-out seaweed.

"_A-ano_…"

"Is this what you think of me?"

"N-no, of course not! Echizen-sama is much more—"

He suddenly stood up and took the rice ball with him without eating it. Sakuno trembled, thinking that she had offended the young lord.

"_G-gomen nasai_, I won't do—"

"_Sankyuu_."

The brunette blinked in surprise, not knowing that it was actually the very first time Ryoma had thanked _anyone_ in his life.

* * *

"He's going to that place again," the head secretary, who manages the personal affairs of the Echizen family, murmured to his companion. He was a data-collecting lad who wore rectangular spectacles that concealed his eyes from everyone.

"_Saa_, we should let him have fun from time to time. Besides, I've never seen him _that_ interested in a girl before," said his companion who had a pleasant smile on his face. Despite of his amiable expression, he is actually one of the most deadly and ruthless _samurais _the Echizen empire has to offer. He has cunning skills and impressive intellect that always placed him one step ahead of his opponents.

Inui, the data-collector, grunted in disapproval.

"The higher-ups in the palace are bound to notice sooner or later. There is a high chance that it will stir controversy. After all, she is nothing but a lowly servant."

Fuji Syuusuke watched their crowned prince sneak behind the cover of a tree in the garden. When Ryoma was completely gone, he turned his attention to the cloudy sky that was hanging over the opened courtyard where they were currently overseeing the practice swings of the young _samurais_ they were training.

"That's only to be expected. But then again, since when has His Highness cared about the rules?" A mysterious smirk appeared on his smooth face.

"It's none of our business," said a new voice behind them. They turned and saw the captain of the military force staring at them with a stoic expression. "It's time to get back to practice."

"As to be expected from Tezuka," Fuji muttered in amusement. He then went over to his own students in order to assess their skills.

Inui chose to linger for a bit longer. He stared at the spot where the prince disappeared to. He cannot just possibly let things be as they are. The least he could do was to conduct a background check on that girl.

* * *

"I'm not going to ask you questions," Sumire one day told her. "But it's better if you stay away from him."

Sakuno paused from folding laundry and sent her grandmother a look full of questions. Her grandmother just implied that she knew about her secret meetings with Ryoma. Or was she talking about…?

"He is going to be the next shogun."

Okay, so she was talking about Ryoma. Sakuno breathed out a sigh of relief.

"_Obaa-chan_, you have nothing to worry about. I am only doing a chore for Echizen-sama. For whatever reason, he seems to like my tasteless _onigiris_."

"That's not what I'm afraid of," Sumire continued, frowning. She gave Sakuno a look of distress, as if guilty that she isn't able to do anything for her granddaughter.

"You don't know what he is capable of doing, Sakuno. Your life can be easily ruined just by associating with him. And you shouldn't expect—"

"_Obaa-chan_…" Sakuno laid a hand on top of her grandmother's and sent her a soothing smile. "Please don't worry. I don't expect anything. I do not lie when I say that I am just doing a chore for His Excellency."

The sky outside of the servants' living quarters had started to turn orange, marking the beginning of twilight. A reminiscent smile was displayed on the brunette's face as she turned her head to look at the orange-red sky through the window in the room.

_Besides, her heart is already…_

* * *

Sakuno bowed low before the high-ranking palace lady that summoned the brunette to her private quarters in the Edo palace. She was surprised when a messenger told her that the honorable Lady Reika, who was chosen to be the future bride of the crowned prince, wanted to see her.

"W-what can I do for you, Lady Reika?" she asked the lady politely.

The Lady rose from her cushioned seat and scrutinized the servant girl.

"Look at me."

Sakuno had no choice but to obey. As she timidly stared up at Reika, she couldn't help but admire the proud and elegant countenance of the royal woman. Although Reika is technically two years older than Ryoma, she has everything a man wants in a woman—curves, beauty, intelligence, and class. She has long and silky black hair decorated with lavish ornaments.

Her presence alone made it difficult for a girl to feel good about herself. Next to the elegant woman, Sakuno thought she definitely paled in comparison.

"I heard some rumors," Reika said in her feminine voice. "I hope they're not true." She arched a perfect brow at Sakuno.

The brunette suddenly felt dread crawl along her spine. Surely, this couldn't be about…

"Are you seeing Echizen-sama alone?"

"H-Honorable Lady, I'm—"

"Are you or are you not seeing Echizen-sama alone?" Reika asked again, sterner this time.

"I…"

"Answer the question!"

Sakuno casted her eyes downwards in defeat. "_H-ha_—" Her affirmative answer had ended up as a gasp of pain. Reika had slapped her with a golden fan.

"You whore! How dare you seduce His Highness?"

Sakuno stared up at her, beseeching. "Lady Reika, you're mistaken. I was merely making some rice balls for Echizen-sa—"

_Slap_.

She was once again hit with the fan. "Don't you dare mention his name! You're not worthy enough! You're nothing but scum in this palace!"

Reika grabbed Sakuno's hair and pulled her up.

Some of the lady attendants of Reika winced in sympathy of the poor girl, while the others hid smiles. They felt like the servant girl deserved to be beaten. She dared to advance her rank by seducing officials? They were disgusted by her under-handed tactics.

"Rice balls, you say? What is so special about those rice balls you're making?" Reika glared at the younger girl with venom in her eyes. "I spent my whole life trying to please Echizen-sama. Every single day of my life was spent in preparation for my marriage to him. Despite of all of my hardships, _my sacrifices for him, _never did he taken even just a minute of his time to see me! And you're telling me that you caught his attention by merely making rice balls?" she shrieked at Sakuno, her beautiful face distorted in bitterness and anger.

And then, as if the lady had gone mad, Reika suddenly smiled.

A devious idea popped up in her mind.

Well, if Echizen-sama is truly only in love with the rice balls that this servant girl makes, then she would just have to make sure that the slave won't be able to make a rice ball _ever again_.

"Give me your hands."

Sakuno stared up at her in apprehension. Reika yanked at her hair again until the girl was forced to hold up her hands.

"Good girl, now where's that whip…" Reika murmured with a sweet smile on her face.

* * *

Ryoma narrowed his eyes at the unfamiliar attendant girl who brought Sakuno's basket of _onigiris_ to him. He didn't like the idea that some stranger was allowed to invade his private sanctuary.

"Where is Ryuzaki?"

The attendant girl gracefully bowed before the prince.

"She's sick, Your Highness, but she did make these for you," she answered in a semi-steady voice.

A slight frown marred Ryoma's aristocratic face. "What's wrong with her?"

"Forgive me, but I, myself, do not know the details."

Contemplating her answer, the prince turned his face away. To his annoyance, the attendant girl stayed and continued kneeling before him, feeling as if she could replace Sakuno for the mean time.

"Go," Ryoma ordered scornfully.

The girl looked disappointed but obeyed.

When he was finally alone, Ryoma opened the basket that was left for him. He looked at the rice balls inside the container. They were the shapes that Sakuno usually makes for him—bunnies, stars, and a ball with his face on it.

Except there was something wrong with their forms…they weren't as perfectly shaped as they usually were.

He took out the ball that was supposed to resemble his face. Out of all of them, it was his favorite shape. But even that one did not have its usual specific cut-outs. It only had a square piece of seaweed stuck on it…

* * *

"Echizen-sama, _please_, you're not supposed to be in here. This is not a place for Your Highness, only servants—"

Ryoma ignored the blubbering supervisor and barged into Sakuno's room. The poor brunette awoke from her sleep, eyes widening when she saw the crowned prince in her room.

"E-Echizen-sama…?"

For a moment, Ryoma paused on her doorway.

Sick was not the right term to describe the girl. The brunette was so pale. Her face had a number of bandages and gauzes decorating it. Her innocent eyes, which he secretly adored so much, were staring at him questioningly.

He allowed his eyes to roam down her face. Most of her body was hidden under the traditional kimono she wears but he was able to get a view of her hands, which peeked out from her sleeves. To his surprise, they were heavily bandaged.

Without speaking a word, he approached her. Sakuno noticed what he was staring at and tried to hide her hands from him. However, Ryoma caught one of her hands before she can take them away. She winced at the pressure, so he loosened his grip a bit.

"Y-Your Excellency?" she questioned, attempting to pull her hand away from his scrutiny.

To her horror, he started to unwrap the bandages.

Ryoma's eyes unconsciously hardened in cold fury when her hand was finally unveiled.

Tons and tons of small cuts decorated every inch of her frail hand. Based on the inconsistency of the horizontal cuts and the red spots around them, it seemed as if they were inflicted through repeated hits from a leather whip.

Self-conscious, Sakuno withdrew her hand from him. Ryoma inclined his head slightly downwards and hid his eyes behind his bangs. He was deadly quiet.

"I-I was careless in the kitchen. So, I…" she bluffed. When Sakuno returned from Lady Reika's private quarters, she tried to hide her wounds from everyone. Being in the lower class of society, she has no rights to complain about the incident. Furthermore, Lady Reika threatened to do the same thing to her friends and relatives if she ever told Ryoma or anyone about what happened.

"You made those rice balls…in that condition?" the young lord asked in a frightening calm manner, his eyes still hidden from her.

Sakuno had to sterilize her hands by dipping them in hot water, despite of her wounds, and then wrap them in clean plastic so she can safely handle the rice without contaminating it. Though she was able to do most of the task, she was unable to perfect the forms of the rice balls she usually makes. Her hands were shaking and were hurting too much.

Nevertheless, she did all she can to ensure that she doesn't disappoint the young lord. Apparently, it wasn't enough.

The supervisor stood at Sakuno's front door, anxiously watching them. Even the old lady had started to feel the silent fury that emanated from the prince's body.

"Echizen-sama, please, I really—"

He stood up abruptly before Sakuno could finish her sentence and left her room without a word.

* * *

The next day, word about the banishment of Lady Reika from the castle spread within the palace walls like fire. Apparently, the Lady was also stripped of her title to become the future wife of Lord Echizen. The maids gossiped about how the woman had clawed and struggled when the imperial guards came to escort her out of the castle. She fought against them like a mad woman.

Lady Reika was sent back to her home province wherein she'll live in disgrace and under the mercy of her relatives.

"Your Excellency," Sakuno began, her forehead near the ground as she was bowing before Ryoma in the garden. "I know I am in no place to question your decisions, but regarding Lady Reika, I—"

"What's done is done," Ryoma said with an uncharacteristic coldness in his tone.

Sakuno's eyes shook in agony. She felt guilty for what happened to Reika. Yes, she did not like what the Lady did to her, but she did not also wish that kind of punishment for the girl. Honestly, she can understand Reika's feelings. For someone who devoted all of her time and efforts to please the boy she loves, of course she would be upset once she hears that another girl was getting more acquainted with him.

"But, Echizen-sama—"

"Would you rather I execute her?"

"N-No!" Sakuno exclaimed, aghast. To think that he would execute his ex-fiancé for hurting a servant girl was incomprehensible to her. Servants in the palace often got hit and abused when they make mistakes. That's why it shouldn't be a big deal.

"It's a lesson for all of them," Ryoma said dismissively.

His words had an undertone that Sakuno couldn't quite comprehend. It seemed as if he didn't vocalize the rest of that sentence.

"Your hands…" he suddenly spoke, breaking the tense silence that had stretched between them. "Let me see."

Sakuno rose from her bowing position and sat on her knees. She hesitantly held her hands up to him.

With a gentle touch, Ryoma grabbed one of them and turned it over to inspect it. Sakuno could not help but blush upon the contact. She silently wondered how someone so hard and cold could be so gentle and warm at the same time.

Ryoma released her when he was satisfied to see that her wounds are healing well.

The brunette bowed her head down.

"It was thanks to the doctor Your Excellency sent to me. He gave me medicinal herbs and some creams to apply to the wounds. I was surprised that they were able to heal the cuts without leaving scars."

"Hnnn. Then next week, pick berries for me again."

"_E-eh?_" Sakuno blinked, surprised.

A smirk ghosted the young lord's lips, enhancing his naturally handsome face.

"_Ii jyan_?" was his bratty reply.

* * *

Time passed.

Lord Echizen and Sakuno resumed their frequent secret meetings.

Even though Ryoma continued to deny it to himself, he was starting to become really fond of the girl. At first, he was only interested in her rice balls. He had told her they were terrible, but he actually lied. In fact, Ryoma believes that even the finest chefs in all of Japan do not possess the skills to make rice balls like Sakuno makes them.

They were not the best rice balls in the world, but they were _special_. And for some reason, Ryoma found himself addicted to them...and to the girl who makes them.

Something about her smile and her innocent eyes drew him to her. With all of the materials things, money, and power that Ryoma held in his hands, she represented something that the young heir could never get in his life—purity.

Before he knew it, he began to crave her company on a daily basis. She became his sanctuary. _His heaven_. She was his escape from the harsh and difficult life he was forced to live, being raised with the expectation of succeeding his father to be the next shogun of Japan.

He prided himself in the belief that she seemed attracted to him too. He thought they shared something special—something that crossed the strict _taboos_ that their different positions in society imposed on the two of them.

_But apparently, he was wrong…_

"Go away. I'm not in the mood," Ryoma muttered dismissively when he saw their head secretary enter the private confines of his study.

Inui bowed before the crowned heir, but did not leave the room.

"I have something important to tell you, Your Majesty," the data man said in a serious tone. "It concerns that servant girl named Ryuzaki Sakuno."

From that point on, Inui had Ryoma's full attention.

* * *

It has almost been a year since Sakuno had been to that place.

She enjoyed the sight of the cherry blossom trees in front of her. They were all in full bloom—all showing off a pretty shade of pink that Sakuno admires so much.

The maiden was in a clearing deep into the woods that was situated in a district near the Edo castle. She barely gets free days since she has duties to perform in the palace, but she had specifically requested in advance to have this particular day off.

A gentle breeze that gradually became stronger soon shook the _sakura_ trees around her. It blew off their petals, creating a light blizzard consisting of cherry blossoms around the girl.

"_I'll make them dance for you."_

Unconsciously, she smiled.

She recognized that particular breeze.

It meant that _he_ was already there.

She gathered up the skirt of her _kimono_ and excitedly ran around and inspected the area of the clearing. He does like to play hide-and-seek.

Just because he was good at _hiding_.

Another smile lit up her face and she couldn't help but let out a soft giggle to herself.

That "too-full-of-himself" _shinobi_.

Sakuno came near the river that ran along the bank of where the _sakura_ trees were located. She found him perched on top of a rock, looking at the flowing river in front of him. He was wearing his classic _shinobi_ outfit that was in all black—split-toed _tabi_ boots; socks; loose trousers that were fastened at his ankles, knees, and waist; and a loose jacket. He was also wearing the red scarf that she had given to him as a present last year. It was loosely tied around his neck and was being blown by the gentle wind that also played with his wild and wavy black hair.

He turned when he sensed that she had finally spotted him.

Instantly, a confident smile appeared on his face as his green eyes sparkled at her.

_He had missed her_.

"_Yo,_" he uttered as an easy greeting, before straightening up and taking a few steps toward her.

Sakuno retuned his cheerful smile before she bit her bottom lip and finally ran toward him, closing the distance between them.

His face displayed mild surprise before he opened his arms in order to catch her. She landed on his firm chest and encircled her arms around his waist. In return, he also wrapped his arms around her shoulders, hugging her closer to him.

For a while, it seemed as if time had stopped for them as they shared the warmth of their embrace.

"_Tadaima_," he whispered tenderly against her ear.

Sakuno smiled against the fabric of his shirt before unburying her head and looking up at him. The sweet smile on her face inflamed the unbelievable warm feeling in his chest.

"_Okaerinasai_, Akaya-kun."

* * *

A few feet from the couple, a lone figure stood hidden behind one of the _sakura_ trees. Muscles in his jaw unconsciously clenched when he heard her say the guy's name.

He leaned his weight against the tree.

His golden eyes darkened and shifted _dangerously_ as he tried to comprehend the situation.

He cannot believe it.

What he thought was his…

_already belonged to someone else._

* * *

_**Next chapter: **_KiriSaku's side of the story.

**Japanese vocabulary:**

_**Gomen nasai**_** – **I apologize; I'm sorry

_**Anata…dare?**_** – **Who are you?

_**Eh? – **_What?

_**Ii jyan**_** –**It should be okay, right?

_**Tadaima**_** – **I'm home

_**Okaerinasai**_ – Welcome home


	2. Taboo

**Technically, the Tokugawa family was the ruling clan in 17****th**** century Japan. But in this fic, I gave that role to the Echizens. Mostly to avoid confusions but also because the name "Tokugawa Ryoma" sounds a little weird to me.**

* * *

**Taboo**

_They were star-crossed lovers from the start_

_Forbidden to touch_

_Forbidden to love_

_And yet, even though the entire world was against them being together_

_Romeo still believed that he can somehow make it work…_

* * *

_Edo Castle_, _3 years ago._

"Hey you, stop!"

The blow of a whistle was accompanied by loud yells and hurried footsteps.

He was trapped inside the palace and being pursued by numerous _samurai_ guards.

Under the cover of the night, he ran through courtyards and jumped across walls, seeking for the exit.

He cursed.

Normally, he wouldn't have made the mistake of alerting the guards while completing a mission. But that night, he had encountered a skilled _samurai_ with piercing blue eyes and light brown hair who ruined all of his plans.

He was able to assassinate his target but the blue-eyed _samurai_ caught him. They had clashed and fought. He was able to escape in the end, but not without injuries. His right shoulder had been pierced by a _katana_ and his right leg had sustained a pretty deep cut that affected his speed.

As he jumped from a rooftop to a white sand courtyard, he saw that he was nearing the outer walls of the palace. He just needed to cross one last section of the compound.

He landed on the ground of that last section, but his form instantly tensed.

Someone had spotted him.

Before him was a brunette girl with long twin braids. The maiden was clad in a plain yellow _kimono_ that resembled that of a servant's. She was carrying a paper lantern in her hands, which illuminated Kirihara's form for her. The girl was frozen in shock as she took in his appearance with her large brown eyes.

Since Kirihara was wearing his black _shinobi_ uniform, anyone could easily tell from his ensemble that he was an assassin.

He cursed for the second time that night. His green eyes narrowed in a split second of indecision.

He could easily kill the girl, but that would take time. If he let her be, she might let out a scream and alert more guards in the area before he can get out.

A loud whistle interrupted them. More lanterns lit up at the area just ahead. Faint voices started to become louder.

They were really close. At this rate, they will be able to capture him.

"T-This way."

Kirihara's eyes widened a fraction at the sound of her soft voice and his attention went back to the girl. He saw that she was pointing to a small tool shed at the back of the courtyard. Her eyes, however, were trained on his bleeding shoulder.

The light from the lanterns of his pursuers was coming closer and closer. Having no other choice at the moment, he followed the girl's instruction and hid in the tool shed. Hopefully, her suggestion wasn't a trap.

At least half an hour passed before the noises around him ceased. Apparently, they gave up the chase after a quick search of the area and seeing no traces of him.

His trained ears picked up the noise of someone coming closer to the shed and he instantly tensed. Crouching and moving behind a big barrel, he grabbed his small blade and prepared to attack.

As soon as the door opened, Kirihara turned and was about to release his weapon, but the sight of the person before him forced him to hold back.

It was the girl who had rescued him earlier. She had returned with a tray of food and some medical supplies.

"_Daijobu_. Nobody comes to this shed except for me, so you could rest here until dawn, if you need to," she told him as she wrapped bandages over his injured shoulder and around his abdomen to secure it. When she had insisted earlier to let her at least dress his wounds, he hesitated, but then reluctantly acquiesced. He thought that it wouldn't do any harm. Besides, they were really inconveniencing him and thought that he would be in much better shape to escape later once his wounds are patched up.

As soon as she was done, she bowed before him and stood, intending to leave him alone with his meal.

He should've just allowed her to leave like that, but something in his gut made him ask, "_Oi_, you're a stupid girl, aren't you?"

Hearing him speak for the first time, Sakuno froze in her steps and turned to look at him.

"It's a little rude to say that to someone who just helped you, don't you think?"

Kirihara scoffed. He was an assassin who can instantly kill her with a snap of his wrist and she's concerned about his manners?

Who _is_ this girl?

"Only idiots would help an assassin."

"Why?"

The _shinobi_ blinked, as if made to be the idiot at that moment. "What do you mean why? Of course, because…" He frowned. "Because then I would live another day to kill more people."

Sakuno laced her hands in front of her and bit her bottom lip as she contemplated him.

"But you needed help."

"You're not getting the point!" Kirihara exclaimed, getting a bit frustrated.

"What I don't understand is why a person needs to have a reason to help other people. If a person is injured and in danger, should one not think about saving that person first? Worries about other things can come later."

Kirihara hissed. "My case is different. I'm a _shinobi_. Just in case you didn't notice, Miss Genius."

"_Shinobis _are people too. Just…" Sakuno averted her eyes from him and looked at the ground. "Just in a different line of duty that I do not understand."

Her answer momentarily stumped Kirihara. It was the first time he had actually heard anyone consider _shinobis _as humans too. The majority of people consider them as dangerous paid assassins who they must avoid and stay away from.

"I could've killed you," he whispered as a last attempt of reasoning with her.

"I didn't think of that at that time."

"I could _still _kill you."

Sakuno frowned and looked back at him. Brown eyes clashed with emerald.

"I still can't think of that…even now."

Kirihara's eyes widened at her answer. The maiden just bowed before him and finally left him alone at the shed for the night.

At dawn, when she went to check on him again, he was gone.

* * *

"Come on, baby, just one kiss. I don't bite. Not _hard_, anyway," said a drunkard who was grabbing one of Sakuno's arms quite painfully.

She was in the middle of shopping for ingredients for the cook when a group of drunken _rounins_ surrounded her and cornered her against a wall on a street. Bystanders had noticed them but nobody wanted to interfere. They were scared to incur the wrath of the _rounins_, who carried swords on their waists and could technically still cut them without much consequence.

Sakuno struggled as hard as she can, but was helpless against the much stronger _rounin_ who was holding her. That and the fact that she was outnumbered by them.

"She's a cute one. Why don't you go ahead and taste her first? You were the one who spotted her, after all," one of the _rounins_ told his companion.

"Alright then. _Itadakimaaaasu_," the one holding Sakuno jokingly uttered before he leaned in closer to her face, his tongue sticking out to lick her cheek.

"Please don't!" she screamed as she turned her face away, shutting her eyes in fear of the anticipated contact.

But thankfully, it didn't come.

She heard her attacker let out a painful grunt before the hand that was gripping her arm slackened, and then she was finally released.

Curious, she opened her eyes only to see the _rounin_ who had been holding her already passed out on the ground. His companions had a scared look on their faces and they were somehow looking around the area in panic.

"What the heck was that?"

"Where is it?"

"What _is _it?"

Sakuno was confused as well. She saw a flash of light blue move across her vision before another _rounin_ passed out on the ground again. The same thing happened until there was no _rounin_ left standing.

She worriedly looked at the men on the ground. They didn't look like they were dead. But if they were…

"Just unconscious," a familiar voice said behind her and she almost jumped in surprise. "Don't worry, your worrywart."

She gasped when she saw a peddler who wore a light blue cotton _kimono_ and a huge straw hat on top of his head. Sakuno immediately recognized him.

"_S-Shinobi_-san?" she exclaimed quite loudly.

Kirihara panicked and looked around to see if anyone had heard her. He was supposed to be in disguise and she was blowing his cover just like that. Fortunately, the people were too busy gossiping about the passed out _rounins_ to pay attention to them.

"Shhh!" he admonished, placing a finger on his lips. "Shout it to the world, won't 'ya?"

Sakuno blushed and lowered her voice when she spoke again, "_G-gomen_. But what is _Shinobi_-san doing in this area?"

The question took Kirihara by surprise and he seemed to panic as he tried to come up with an excuse.

"Why should a reason be needed when it comes to helping people?"

The brunette blinked cluelessly. She recognized her own words, which had been thrown back at her.

"But that doesn't answer my question."

Kirihara sweatdropped, realizing she was right. "_Maa_, just don't think about it, alright? Who cares anyway?" he murmured with slightly reddened cheeks.

A warm smile slowly formed on Sakuno's lips as she observed Kirihara. Just like she thought, he wasn't a bad person, after all.

"But yeah, it seems like you can't even walk to the market without getting harassed. Sheesh, what are you? A walking, talking, danger hazard?"

"_M-mou_, you don't have to put it like that," she replied with a pout.

The childish pout on her face made him chuckle boyishly. "Fine, fine. Just a high-maintenance girl then. Either way, I'll accompany you. I have nothing better to do anyway." He shrugged.

Sakuno smiled at the idea. She just knew that she would love his company.

"_Arigatou_, _Shinobi_-san."

Kirihara stiffened before shushing her again. "Would you stop calling me that? You're ruining my style, you know?"

Now, it was the brunette's turn to giggle. "What should I call you then?"

"_Akuma_."

That made Sakuno halt in her steps. She frowned. "D-devil?"

"Yap, that's what they call me," Kirihara replied, also stopping with her.

"But that can't be your real name, right?"

"Of course not."

Kirihara had resumed walking so the brunette had no choice but to follow.

"Then what is your real name?"

The boy merely chuckled as he patted her head. "Are you that stupid or do you just not understand the concept of being a _shinobi_?"

Another pout. "You won't tell me?"

He looked away. "Heck no. I'm forbidden to, anyway."

* * *

"_Ojou_-san, would you be kind enough to spare a few coins for a starving monk?" the voice of an old man spoke to her.

Sakuno boldly stared at the monk who was wearing a white shirt beneath an orange robe. One of his hands was carrying prayer beads while the other held a bowl to beg for alms.

"_Ara_…that's a pretty good monk disguise, _Shinobi_-san," she complimented as she sent him a warm smile.

Even though he had asked her multiple times to stop calling him "_Shinobi_-san," she still continued to do so. She refused to call him "Devil." She wasn't comfortable with it and thought it doesn't suit him. Though his hands were tainted with blood due to the type of profession he was in, she believed in her heart that he was a good person. As she got to know him better, that belief only became stronger until she no longer doubted it.

Sakuno saw a pissed look cross Kirihara's face before he took off the flesh-colored mask that represented what was supposed to be the "shaven head" of the monk. Now that it was off, his seaweed-like hair was free to frame his flawless face again.

"Darn it, I really thought I had you that time," he complained half-heartedly.

Ever since the day Kirihara rescued Sakuno from those no-good _rounins_, he had started to accompany her whenever she went out of the Edo castle. He always bluffed that he was simply "around the area" when in fact, he had deliberately memorized her schedule so he could always visit and spend time with her whenever he wasn't training or on a mission.

And so, during the first year he had known her, they often met at the market place. Kirihara would always use disguises to ensure that no one will be able to recognize him. Unfortunately for him, Sakuno always saw through his disguises no matter how good he thought they were. It was baffling. She was just an average girl who knew nothing about reading _ki_'s and such. So how can she always tell that it was him?

He finally asked her about it one day.

"It's because of _Shinobi_-san's eyes."

"My eyes?" Kirihara tensed for a second, thinking that she had found out about his forbidden technique.

"_Hai_. No matter how you change your appearance, the intensity of your eyes never changes. Your eyes are always…_so honest_." She averted her gaze to the ground and color rose to her cheeks as she prepared to say her next words.

"That's why I really like _Shinobi_-san's eyes."

Sakuno was surprised when Kirihara had suddenly stopped walking. His face was frozen into a mask of surprise.

"_S-Shinobi-_san?" she asked worriedly.

It snapped Kirihara from his shock, but he wasn't able to hide the blush that formed on his cheeks. He quickly recovered, however.

"_Sou'su ka_?" he asked with a teasing smile as he now looked at her. Kirihara stared into her eyes and she couldn't help but look away as she felt self-conscious.

"Me too," Kirihara said confidently.

Sakuno flushed harder, silently wondering if he meant what he said.

"I really like my eyes too."

_And he blew it._

The brunette couldn't help but blink, thinking she got ripped off a compliment. She hit his arm playfully.

"_M-mou_, _Shinobi-_san, aren't you too full of yourself?"

He chuckled, his eyes laughing with him.

"There's nothing wrong with stating the truth. But I guess in your case, the truth can hurt, huh?"

She hit him lightly again and pouted.

"Too mean…" she mumbled. "_Shinobi_-san is too mean."

Kirihara's eyes turned fond as he observed her while they walked to their destination. With a wistful sigh, he finally decided.

_Yap, screw everything._

"It's Akaya."

"_Eh_?" Sakuno asked, not really sure what he said.

"My real name…" he said, a little quieter than usual. "It's Kirihara Akaya."

Sakuno was touched by his sudden confession. He actually trusted her enough to tell her his real name? She transfixed her gaze on him and smiled gratefully.

"K-Kirihara-san…It's a beautiful name."

"Heck no. Try again," Kirihara said, somehow displeased with the way she addressed him.

"K-Kirihara-sama then?"

The _shinobi_ turned red upon hearing her sweet voice mention his real name with that particular honorary suffix. It felt so…_gratifying_ in the naughty kind of way. He cursed as dirty thoughts instantly flooded his mind.

Kirihara shook his head to get his mind out of the gutter. He wanted a more special kind of relationship with her.

"Kirihara-kun?"

"Getting closer."

She paused and temporarily stopped guessing.

"Come on, you know what I want," he told her, his eyes giving her a serious look.

Color touched her cheeks once again as she bit her lower lip and mustered up the courage to say it.

"A-Akaya-kun."

Kirihara felt a swell of happiness when she finally said what he wished to hear. He thought that it was kind of silly how she can so easily make him feel that way.

"Say that again," he commanded, smirking in pleasure.

"Akaya-kun," Sakuno repeated, a little less embarrassed the second time around.

"One more time."

"Akaya-kun."

"One _last _time."

"Akaya-kun!"

He chuckled.

"Yap. What is it, _Sa-chan_?" he asked in turn, a teasing grin on his face.

Sakuno stared at him, feeling unbelievably happy. She actually loved the nickname he gave her.

"You're still a little full of yourself, Akaya-kun," she murmured playfully.

"Oh, come on! You just ruined our moment!"

"_Ano_, please consider that as revenge for what you said earlier."

"Revenge? _Maji ka yo_? And here I thought that you're supposed to be the pure and innocent one between the two of us!" he mumbled complainingly as she giggled and started running away from him.

With a pleased smirk, he instantly gave chase.

* * *

It wasn't long before their "accidental" meetings turned to deliberate meetings. And somewhere during all of that, _they fell in love._

"C-Can I take off my blindfold now?"

"_Dame_'_su_ _yo!_ Just trust me, 'kay?"

He was carrying her bridal-style as they jumped from one tree to another until they finally landed in the clearing he wanted to take her to. Kirihara carefully dropped her to the ground and took off the blindfold for her.

Sakuno couldn't help but gasp once she was finally free to gaze at her surroundings.

Before them were tons and tons of _sakura_ trees. In full blossom.

Unwillingly, tears rushed to her eyes and she covered her mouth in an attempt to control her emotions.

Kirihara started to whistle beside her. At first, she didn't know what he was doing it for, but then, a gentle breeze soon followed his whistling. The breeze started to gather strength until they shook the _sakura _trees and carried petals along with them.

As a result, hundreds of pink petals enveloped the couple, dancing around them.

Sakuno looked at Kirihara questioningly.

He merely smirked back at her and explained that it was one of the mysterious _shinobi_ techniques that he learned from the vice chieftain of his village. That man was able to control certain elements with his _Fuurinkazan_. Kirihara begged his senior to at least teach him to control the "wind" portion of it.

It was because Sakuno had complained to Kirihara before that ever since she was a kid, she never got a chance to experience the viewing of cherry blossom trees as their petals fell from their stem. Her assistance was usually required at the palace during special celebrations, so she was deprived of experiencing most customary outings.

"If you can't come and see them when they naturally fall from the branches, then I'll personally make it happen for you," he looked at her and showed her a genuine smile.

"I'll make them dance for you. _Just for you_, Sa-chan."

A tear fell from her eye and it was soon followed by another.

In a rush, she closed the distance between them and hugged him from behind, wrapping her arms around him.

Kirihara was surprised by her sudden display of affection, but soon enjoyed it.

Never had anyone done so much for her. And never had she experienced so much admiration, joy, and love for a man. He was the very first.

He was _her first love._

* * *

_Edo, November 1692 _

_(Present Time)_

Kirihara's mind was partially occupied.

_Who was that presence that he sensed earlier_?

Before he can track it and burn it in his mind, it was already gone. The only thing that he had picked up was that the _ki_ was definitely that of a _samurai_'s. It was too strong to be just anyone else's.

"Was your one year training in Kyushu successful?" Sakuno turned her head in order to glance up at Kirihara. She was completely oblivious to the presence that the _shinobi _had sensed earlier and he doesn't plan on worrying the maiden by mentioning it to her.

They sat on top of the rock that Kirihara was perched on earlier—with him behind Sakuno and her leaning against him.

"No one from your squad got seriously hurt, right?" she asked, somewhat anxiously. Although she had never met them in person, Sakuno heard tiny bits of stories about his _senpai-tachi _from him.

Actually, Kirihara said that she had already met one of his _senpais _in the market place on numerous occasions. Kirihara explained that his _senpai_ was just too good when it comes to disguises that most of the times, even Kirihara doesn't recognize him.

"_Nah_, my _senpai-tachi_ are apparently too cool to get injured while training. I was the only one who broke a bone during the entire time."

"_Eh_? You broke a bone? Where?" she asked, turning her head again to glance back at him.

Kirihara let out one of his boyish chuckles to dissipate her anxiety. "No worries, it was already healed thanks to a bitter substance, which I still call _poison_, that I had to drink every day for three months. It was _horrible_!"

The look of disgust on his face made Sakuno giggle.

"That's so like Akaya-kun to hate bitter things. _Demo_, I'm really glad that you came back safely." Sakuno lifted a hand to touch his face and his green eyes semi-closed as he enjoyed the feel of her warm hand on his cheek.

"I was so worried..." she whispered.

Indeed, she was. And_ frighteningly_ worried too.

She was worried about circumstances that were beyond their control…

Worried about what fate has in store for them.

He was a _shinobi_.

In his line of work, missions are prioritized over their own lives.

Sakuno feared that one day,_ he may not be able to come back to her._

Kirihara drew her closer to him and buried his face in her hair. He reveled in the faint fragrance of her flowery shampoo as he inhaled her scent.

"Sa-chan…" he whispered back. His emerald eyes focused on the flowing river before them as he contemplated how to breach the subject with her.

"Y'know, I've been thinking…about quitting being a _shinobi_."

His words surprised her and she turned around in order to fully face him.

"But…"

"Isn't that what Sa-chan wanted?"

Sakuno frowned.

It's true that she wants him to quit his assassin life and take up a safer and more peaceful occupation. But she had already realized that it was selfish of her to ask. What if he really liked being a _shinobi_? And what about his friends? Would they just let him quit?

"_Ii desu ka_? Do you really want to quit?"

Kirihara took a second and thought about the question.

"Sure, I think I'll miss the excitement. But I guess it can't be that bad. I can just make a living as a farmer or something."

The thought of him being a regular farmer and sowing seeds in a field was a little too funny to Sakuno and she couldn't help but giggle a bit.

He looked offended, though still smiled indulgingly. "_Oi_, what? You don't think I have the skills to become a farmer?"

She shook her head and laid her head on his chest. He shifted so he can properly cradle her on his lap.

"It's just…I don't know. I guess it's too good to be true. To wish things like that."

"I'll make it happen!" Kirihara exclaimed, giving her a serious look in his eyes as he glanced down at her.

She loved that expression in his eyes. _His passion_. It makes her believe that he can accomplish anything. Even the impossible. And like the _sakura_ petals blizzard…he has made the impossible happen before.

"But of course…" he trailed off and suddenly averted his eyes from her, as if embarrassed. "I'll need a wife."

Sakuno's brown eyes widened at the implication of his words.

"I think I'll die if I try to cook myself anything. Yukimura-_taichou_ even said that I can actually make poisons out of the stuff I cook! And they'll be great to use as weapons. That was kind of overkill, don't you think?" he added to lighten the mood.

But Sakuno was still frozen in a state of shock and Kirihara started to get worried.

"Look, I know I probably can't give you all of the luxuries in the world. But Sa-chan, I swear I'll do anything to make you happy. We'll live comfortably in a farm. With one kid. No, two! A boy and a girl."

Kirihara's cheeks reddened and his eyes shone as he continued to lay out his plans for them. "The boy would look as handsome and cool as me while the girl would look as cute as you. We'll make a happy family together. So you don't have to worry, Sa-chan." His beautiful emerald eyes pleaded with her. "I _promise_ I'll make you happy."

Sakuno hid her eyes behind her bangs but the sudden tremors of her shoulders told him that she had started crying.

Panicking, he gently cupped her chin and made her look at him.

"But it's okay if you don't—"

He paused, arrested by the happy expression in her eyes. She was crying tears of happiness.

"Sa-chan…"

She buried her head on his chest and hugged him again.

"O-of course," she whispered against the fabric of his clothes. "Of course, I'd love to be your wife."

When they said that hearing a girl's "yes" in proposals always makes the man the happiest person on earth, Kirihara thought that they were exaggerating.

But then, at that time, he honestly felt like he was the happiest and _luckiest_ person in the world.

To have Sakuno to himself was a blessing he felt he didn't deserve.

To be granted the affections of a woman as pure as her was not a thing he expected to have in his tainted life.

It was _too much._

She was giving him too much happiness.

He returned her hug and whispered against her ear, "I'll go back to Rikkai and tell my superiors about my decision. I'll prepare everything, but it will probably take a week. And then, I'll come back to get you. So don't try to run away until then, Sa-chan."

She laughed.

"As if I can ever run away from Akaya-kun." She tilted her head wonderingly. "You always somehow know where to find me."

"When it comes to Sa-chan, I know everything," Kirihara said proudly, and then paused as he remembered something important. "_Sou_'_su_ _ne_. I don't have an appropriate marriage present yet," he gave her a sheepish look, "but I do have something to give you."

He took out an expensive-looking dagger from one of the hidden pockets in his jacket. The dagger was sheathed in a black scabbard, which was decorated with a dragon that appeared wrapped around a ruby gem. It was approximately only twelve inches in length.

"One of my _senpai-tachi_ mentioned before that a _shinobi_'s wife must always have a way to protect herself while her husband is away. So…" His passionate gaze sent the feelings he wished to convey with his words. "Always carry this with you so you can always have a part of me."

Sakuno stared at the black dagger wonderingly as she took it from him. A warm smile slowly formed on her lips and she nodded up at him. "_Hai_."

_In one week…_

_In one week, they will be together again._

* * *

"_Tarundoru_!" Sanada Genichirou, the vice chieftain of the hidden village of Rikkai shouted at his young charge.

"You want to quit? You think it's that easy? You're a _shinobi_! You've been a _shinobi _all your life. Assassinating people is the only way of life you know! Stop deluding yourself!"

Kirihara kneeled on a knee before his superiors. In the center of the raised portion of the hut where they held meetings, sat Yukimura Seiichi, the current chieftain of the village. He was quietly listening as Sanada and Kirihara argued back and forth.

"_Kuso_, I have my own life to live! You can't stop me. I'm going to leave whether you like it or not," Kirihara stubbornly proclaimed, glaring up at his superior.

Sanada's jaw clenched as a dark expression came over his face. "You are appointed to be next chieftain of this village. You are to be the next leader after Yukimura. You have responsibilities and obligations to your people. And you're going to let them down. You're throwing away everything because of a…A GIRL YOU MET IN TOWN?"

Kirihara stiffened as Sanada alluded to Sakuno.

_So they knew? But of course_…

Kirihara's emerald eyes narrowed in fury. "Leave her out of this! I just…want to try to live in peace for once! My wish is that simple. So why can't I? You can always find another leader to take my place! My other _senpais _are all competent _shinobis_!"

"That's not the point. You're a selfish—" Sanada was about to attack him when Yukimura signaled for him to stop.

Yukimura's mysterious blue eyes shifted as he contemplated Kirihara, who eyed him anxiously.

"Yukimura-_taichou_…_please_," Kirihara begged the chieftain.

Silence permeated the room for a while, before Yukimura finally spoke.

"Alright. We will allow you to go," the chieftain's calm voice proclaimed. Sanada's eyes widened in shock, but he could do nothing but send Yukimura a questioning look.

Even Kirihara seemed shocked by his quick approval.

"In one condition," Yukimura continued. An ethereal smile appeared on his face. "You have to accomplish one last mission for us."

* * *

_**Next chapter: **_Collision b/w RyoSaku & KiriSaku

**Japanese Vocabulary:**

_**Itadakimasu**_– an expression of gratitude before meals

_**Maa**_ – something like "oh well"

_**Ojou-san**_** – **Miss

_**Ki**_ – life-force energy

_**Maji ka yo?**_ – Are you serious?

_**Dame'su yo**_ – Don't; You can't

_**Ii desu ka?**_ – Is that okay?

_**Sou'su ne**_ – That's right

_**Kuso**_ – Damn it

* * *

_**Don't forget to hit the review button before you go, please :3**_


	3. Treachery

**Thank you to the people who reviewed (yes, all three of you xD). They gave me inspiration to post the next chapter since I was debating whether or not to just abandon this story and work on other things. I guess it is a story that not a lot of people like to read. It is an AU, after all, and not a popular type of AU too, so I kind of understand. **

**Lol! But well, as long as there's at least one person reading, I'll keep posting for you guys :3**

**P.S. Ms. Wanderlust, I am curious. Please enlighten me? xD**

* * *

**Treachery**

_And then the Beast imprisoned Belle inside his lonely castle…_

* * *

The cherry blossom trees were bare when she returned to their promised place. Without their pink petals, they looked like skeletons that heralded a place of death. The river was tumultuous and restless, as if it sensed the disturbance in the atmosphere.

Sakuno deliberately ignored these _omens_ and waited for Kirihara. She sat on the same rock they sat on a week earlier. He said he would come and meet her there.

At noon…

It was already seven in the evening. No doubt, people were already looking for her in the palace. She told no one that she was planning to elope that day. Not even her grandmother.

The maiden hugged her legs closer to her body and blankly stared forward at the restless river.

_Akaya-kun…_

_Where could he be?_

She hoped that nothing bad happened to him.

She felt utterly useless and helpless.

If something did happen to him, there was no way for her to know. She doesn't know how she can contact him. Nor any of his friends.

More hours passed.

And still, Kirihara did not appear.

It started raining around midnight.

Yet, she still stayed.

Waiting for him.

_Drenched._

_Cold._

_And scared._

She stayed because she _believes_ in him.

Because she _loves_ him.

* * *

She didn't know when and how morning came because she had apparently passed out. But when she awoke, she was no longer in the clearing. She was in her own room—back in the servants' quarters in Edo castle.

"Finally, you're awake," a disembodied voice came to her.

She turned her head sideways and saw her grandmother carrying a bowl of soup on a tray.

"I was so worried about you, you careless child. I know that memorizing directions is not your strongest point, but it was still silly of you to fall asleep in that isolated clearing. It's a good thing that one of Lord Echizen's attendants just happened to come across you as he was doing a survey of the area, and so he took you back here."

Sakuno was not in the mood to talk or listen. She sat up and clenched her fist, determination slowly coming back to her system.

"Sakuno?" Sumire asked as she saw her granddaughter get up from the bed and approach her closet in the corner. She took out multiple scarves and put them on.

"_Gomen_,_ obaa-chan_," she said guiltily, her eyes showing agony.

It was all she said as she rushed out of the room and went back to the clearing.

_She will wait for Kirihara, even if it meant she has to wait forever._

* * *

For the next couple of days, she stood and waited at the clearing, only coming home at night to lessen her grandmother's worries.

Oddly enough, the supervisor of the servants left her alone. She neither reprimanded Sakuno for the chores that she missed nor talked about her constant absence from the palace. Her fellow servants were envious, but also cautious of her. Although they disliked her for leaving them to complete her chores, they were afraid that if they crossed her, the punishment given to Lady Reika would also be given to them.

The other curious thing was that she hasn't been asked to "pick berries" for almost two weeks now. She hasn't really seen Lord Echizen around. He must've been busy. However, since she was also too busy worrying about Kirihara's whereabouts and what had happened to him, she spared no thought for the absence of the prince. Ryoma was the least of her worries, at the moment.

_Or so she thought…_

One night, she came home and found most of the servants crowding outside the "reception" room in their quarters. They were excitedly gossiping about something. When the girls finally noticed her, they hushed and parted to give her way.

An older servant bowed before her and told her that the Honorable Secretary, Inui Sadaharu, and her grandmother were waiting for Sakuno's arrival. They were expecting her to join them in the reception room as soon as possible.

* * *

"M-Marry Echizen-sama?" Sakuno repeated, shocked beyond reason.

She turned to her grandmother, panicked. "_Obaa-chan_…but…"

Sumire's eyes were full of sorrow as she regarded her only granddaughter. Unfortunately, she was also powerless to do anything about the situation. It was a request that Ryoma, himself, made.

"It came as a surprise to me too," Sumire told her granddaughter in a sympathetic tone.

"We have tried multiple times to talk some sense into His Excellency, but he remained stubborn and unyielding. He has already persuaded his father, the current shogun, to agree to the arrangement," Inui reported. His tone clearly indicated that he disapproves of Lord Echizen's choice as well.

"But I'm barely…I can't," Sakuno pleaded as she bowed low before Inui. "_Please_…I know nothing of courtly affairs. I am neither in the same social status as Echizen-sama nor will I ever have the grace that most of the higher-ranking palace ladies naturally exhibit. For all of these reasons, I am the last woman fit to become the wife of His Excellency. I am not _worthy_. So _please_…"

"Of course, we are well aware of that. His Majesty is breaking all of the rules with this proposal of his, and yet, he does not care. He has made that clear to all of the court officials. He is the next heir to the shogun throne, and as such, we have no choice but to give in to his demands."

Sakuno was speechless.

What can she do?

What can she say to that?

She can't do anything but obey.

_They basically own her._

The brunette slumped on the ground as her shoulders shook. Her grandmother could do nothing but look at her in agony as sobs began to wrack Sakuno's frail body.

* * *

"_D-Doushite_?"

"Hn?"

Sakuno straightened up from her bowing position and sat on her knees before Lord Echizen.

"Why…so suddenly? I'm hardly the appropriate girl for Your Exce—"

"It's what I want."

The brunette frowned, one of her hands clenching on her lap.

"Echizen-sama, I'm—"

"I don't care."

Sakuno stiffened.

He had spoken coldly, dismissing her concerns just like that.

Because he really didn't care.

He wanted her.

_Desperately_.

_Obsessively_.

_Possessively. _

And he wanted to ensure that she remained his.

His and only _his_.

His to do _whatever_ he pleases.

Without any competition.

Without any distraction.

_**Exclusively his**_**.**

And that's all that mattered to him at that time.

* * *

The marriage between Lord Echizen and Ryuzaki Sakuno was the talk of the town. It was like a story from a fairytale. With a servant girl ending up with a prince. People were envious of her. People would've done anything to trade places with her.

And she would've given everything too…just to be set free.

Sakuno stared at the dagger in her hands. Its black lacquer polish glinted in the meager light provided by the lamp in the room. The ruby gem in the middle of the dragon insignia glowed bloody red.

_The dagger was all that she had left of him to hold on to._

She clutched the sheath of the dagger and felt an onslaught of pain in her chest.

_Akaya-kun…_

She had betrayed him.

She had promised to wait for him, and yet, here she was…engaged to another man.

_Forced _to serve another man.

Bitter tears came to her eyes.

She hated herself.

She hated herself for being so useless and helpless.

And somehow, she hated Ryoma too…for cornering her into marrying him.

She _trusted_ him. She thought he was a good man. But she should've heeded her grandmother's warning to stay away from the young heir.

Why her? If he just meant to toy with her…why go through all this trouble? She really did not understand the evil intent hidden behind his proposal. It was so…_unfair_!

Wiping tears from her eyes with the sleeves of her silk_ kimono_, she hastily opened a chest in her wooden drawer and placed the dagger inside.

Well, Ryoma may be able to have her life and her body.

But her heart…

Her heart would only belong to Kirihara.

And like that dagger, she'll keep it locked away in a safe where he can _never_ get a hold of it.

* * *

The night of their wedding was the night she feared the most. That night, she would be officially claimed by him. Be physically his.

Sakuno closed her eyes as she felt his presence behind her. He was _very close_ to her. She was still in her white wedding _kimono_. Her long brown hair flowed enticingly down her back. Alone with Ryoma in his spacious and luxurious chamber, she felt trapped and helpless.

She just stood still and waited for him to make a move.

Like the maiden, Ryoma was also still clad in his wedding clothes. In the traditional style of Shinto wedding ceremonies, he wore a black formal _kimono_, a _kimono_ jacket, and a grey _hakama_.

He took one step toward the girl and placed a hand on her shoulder.

Sakuno stiffened at the contact.

Slowly, he turned her around, toward him. But even as she was forced to face him, Sakuno kept her eyes down, refusing to look at his face.

Ryoma placed a hand under her chin and gently made her look up. She did. She saw his smoldering golden eyes boring through her own. Sakuno couldn't help but admit that he was gorgeous in every way—sexy, charismatic, addicting, _**seductive**_.

Yet, there was also a dark element to his perfection.

Something that was hazardous and toxic.

Armed with looks, wits, and power, she knew that Ryoma was easily able to get _anything_ he wanted. And at that moment, he wanted _her_. He was _craving _for her.

Her heartbeat quickened at the intensity of the emotions expressed in his eyes. She didn't know he was capable of displaying such passion.

_Lust._

_Desire._

_**Greed.**_

Bit by bit, he leaned toward her. His mouth was closing in to claim hers. Mark her. _Own_ her. Dominate her. But out of nowhere, memories of Kirihara and his voice floated in her mind.

Protecting her.

Shielding her.

Even when his presence is gone.

Sakuno instantly closed her eyes and turned away from Ryoma. She couldn't help it.

She didn't love him.

She loves someone else.

Even if she consented to him taking her body, her heart strongly rebelled against it. Her heart that only belonged to a _shinobi_.

Ryoma paused when he was only a few inches away from her lips. His warm breath caressed her face and sent shivers up and down her spine.

To her surprise, he didn't continue his assault. She felt him release her and move away. When she opened her eyes, he had already turned away from her—his back facing her.

Sakuno frowned, not entirely sure what made him stop. But she was grateful.

"Sleep here tonight."

That was all he said before he left Sakuno alone in his private chamber.

They did not consummate their marriage that night.

* * *

Days passed and their relationship did not improve. Although Sakuno obeyed Ryoma, she remained cold to him. They rarely talked to each other. In fact, they had more conversations when they were still meeting secretly in the garden than they have now that they are actually married.

Sakuno continued to sleep in Ryoma's chamber. He slept in a room next to it.

The prince was vexed to find that her eyes—her innocent and spirited eyes that he loved so much—had turned cold and empty. They almost look hateful whenever she looks at him. And it was his fault.

_She hated him for caging her._

_For attempting to take away her innocence…_

_Her purity continued to reject the darkness she senses in him._

_His black and sinful soul._

Even now that she has become his wife…she still hasn't become his. Her heart and her innocence remained locked away from him. Out of his reach.

"A _kabuki_ play?" Sakuno asked softly, genuine curiosity and interest in her tone.

"_Sou sou_. You got that right, My Lady," a tall and spiky-haired _samurai_ smiled at her. He was Lord Takeshi from the Momoshirou clan. He was one of the _samurai _elites that her grandmother had trained. Apparently, he was also the closest and most trusted friend of Echizen Ryoma. In fact, he had become his personal retainer.

"So, feel like coming? We didn't go all the way to this far province just for you to be locked up in this mansion. _Sore wa ikenai. Ikeneee yo!_"

Sakuno gave him a tentative smile. She liked Momo. He was friendly and nice to her.

"It will be my pleasure to go with you," she told him. He gladly offered his arm to her and escorted her to the _kabuki_ theatre.

They rode a palanquin to the site, and while they were travelling, Momo had brought up a topic that concerned her relationship with Ryoma.

"So I heard that you've been giving Echizen-_danna_ a pretty hard time," he casually said with a teasing smile.

A light tint of red appeared on Sakuno's cheeks and she bowed her head demurely.

"_G-Gomen nasai_," was all she could murmur. She can't help but realize that there was truth to his statement.

"No need to apologize, Honorable Lady," Momo kindly replied. "I understand that you don't love him at the moment. But, you know, it wouldn't hurt if you try to make friends with him. Then maybe, love can come later."

The brunette's gaze remained on her lap as Momo continued to persuade her.

"No one knows better than I do that Echizen-_danna_ is probably the brattiest person in the world." He laughed at his own joke. "But he _is_ trying everything he can to please you. And that's already saying a lot, considering that it's him. He's a little stuck up, as you already know."

Momo opened the window of the palanquin to let in some light from the lanterns of the shops they passed by.

"Actually, even though he hasn't said it out loud, I think the only reason why we travelled to this far province is so you can see the well-known _kabuki_ plays in this district. He had found out from Inui-san that you like _kabuki_ plays, so he had arranged for this trip so you can enjoy the shows."

Sakuno looked up at Momo in surprise.

Ryoma arranged the trip just for her?

Momo's smile held warmth as he said his next words, "He was probably too embarrassed to accompany you to the shows himself. He did confide in me that he knows that you dislike being in his company. So although he likes _kabuki_ shows too, he sent me to go with you instead."

At that moment, Sakuno felt guilty.

Yes, she was sure that she is unable to give Ryoma her love. But the least she can do was probably be nice to him. She can at least reestablish the friendly relationship they had back then.

It might make their marriage much more bearable.

And after this favor Ryoma did for her, she knew she owed him.

Looking outside the small window of the palanquin they were in, Sakuno decided that when she gets back to the mansion they were currently staying at, she can make some rice balls for Ryoma.

Just like the old times.

* * *

Bunnies.

Stars.

And a ball with Ryoma's face.

Sakuno smiled. She felt nostalgic. Gone were the tension-free days when she just roamed around like a free-spirited girl around the palace. Though she was a servant, she had her freedom. And she loved her life.

Shaking her head, she shook off the feelings knowing that it wouldn't do her any good to think about the past.

Besides, she's on a mission to make some peace with Ryoma. Thinking about her stolen freedom would only make that task difficult.

She carried the plate that held her rice balls and approached the room where Ryoma was residing in. The paper door of his room was cracked opened slightly. She heard two distinct voices talking. One belonged to Ryoma while the other, she recognized, belonged to Honorable Secretary Inui.

Realizing that they were probably having a private meeting, she turned around intending to leave them alone, but a word she overheard from the door made her freeze on her spot.

She was sure that Inui had mentioned the word "Rikkai."

* * *

"Regarding the last _shinobi_ who we knew escaped from the hidden village of Rikkai when you ordered its destruction, I would like to inform you that he was already captured and executed. That being the case, every _shinobi_ from that village is now officially deceased as you had originally mandated, Your Majesty."

Ryoma stared at the documents on his desk. His face was shadowed and dark.

_His crime._

_His sin._

_It was finally done_.

The sound of porcelain dropping and breaking suddenly caught the men's attention. Quickly, Inui rose from his kneeling position and slid the paper door open.

Sakuno's shocked and very pale face was revealed to them.

She was staring at the ground—her posture stiff and still. In front of her were broken pieces of the porcelain plate that held her rice balls. The _onigiris_ were scattered on the floor, some of them squished from the fall.

Ryoma's eyes roamed down from her face to the rice balls on the ground. He recognized them—they were the _onigiris_ that she used to make for him.

"E-Excuse me," she told them in a barely-contained voice before she rushed away from the room.

Cursing, Ryoma instantly followed her.

* * *

"Sakuno."

He grabbed her arm when he caught up with her to stop her from running.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled at him, shoving his hand away roughly. It was the first time that she raised her voice when speaking to him. Her eyes were filled with tears and she was looking at him with intense disgust in her eyes. It was an expression he had never seen on her before.

"W-Why? Why would you do such a thing?" she asked him in a shaky voice. "How could you order the execution of many lives in that village?"

She was waiting for some sort of denial from him. Something that will inform her that she misunderstood. That she heard wrong. That he didn't order the destruction of Kirihara's village. And that Kirihara was still alive somewhere.

But Ryoma's silence indicated his guilt. He didn't even try to cover up his crime.

He approached her again and tried to trap her in his embrace. She struggled against him uselessly, landing blows on his chest as she tried to make him release her.

"Let me go! You monster! I hate you! I hate you!"

He only tightened his arms around her until her hands were rendered useless as they were trapped between him and her. She clutched the front of his robes in pain and anger as she cried piteously on his chest.

"Y-You _monster_…" Sakuno whispered in anguish. A feeling of intense anger at the boy swept over her body. "How could you? How could you do such a thing? You don't have a heart!" she said amidst tears that fell down from her pretty face.

She wanted to slap him. To attack him. To _get rid_ of him.

So he was the reason why Kirihara wasn't able to come back to her that day.

He took him away from her.

_**Ruined**_ their dreams. Stole _her happiness_.

And now, she was forced to serve him as his wife!

"You don't understand anything," he whispered against her ear.

_Not understand?_

_Of course, she doesn't!_

_She doesn't understand why Kirihara had to die._

_Why the other people in the village had to die._

Sakuno regained her strength and pushed him away from her. She succeeded.

"Then what don't I understand?" she questioned hysterically.

She saw him look away from her as his eyes hardened. "They were _shinobi_. They were assassins who can be hired at anytime to disturb the peace that my father instituted in this land. They're dangerous murderers."

"And you're not?" she questioned.

His golden eyes went back to her. They flashed an expression that was somewhere between pain and sorrow. But he had banished the emotions in an instant—hiding them behind an impenetrable mask of apathy. Though it was only brief, she can tell that she had hurt him with her last question.

For some reason, she felt guilty again.

But she shouldn't.

No, she shouldn't.

_**He deserved it.**_

"I- I can never forgive you for this. I'd rather die than be forced to submit to someone like _you_!" Turning her face away from him, she wiped her tears with her hands, before running away from him again.

This time, he didn't follow her.

* * *

"Echizen-_danna_," Momo barged into the young lord's room with an urgent look on his face, "we can't find Lady Sakuno anywhere. She's neither in her room nor anywhere in the mansion. Sorry for this carelessness. I know I was supposed to be watching over her." His retainer's face displayed guilt.

The calligraphy brush that Ryoma held in his hand dropped to the table and spilled ink on the parchment he was writing on. He stood up and gathered his two swords, which were in the corner of the room.

"Order everyone in the mansion to conduct a search for her. This takes priority over anything they're doing at the moment," he told Momo.

Momo bowed and left to carry out his orders.

The young prince did not hesitate a second longer. He went out of the mansion and began searching for Sakuno himself.

After all, the most important thing to him at the moment…

_was her_.

_His_ _caged dove_.

* * *

"_I promise I'll make you happy."_

It was nothing but a lie now.

He can't make her happy anymore.

He can't make her laugh with his silly jokes.

He can't make a family with her.

He can't be with her.

Because he's _**gone**_…

Standing on top of a cliff, Sakuno stared blankly at the ocean before her. She felt like her life was not worth living anymore.

Imprisoned to be the wife of a man who killed the person she loves.

_Vulnerable._

_Helpless._

_Weak._

It was vexing.

Sakuno took out Kirihara's black dagger, which was tucked into the _obi _of her rich satin _kimono_. Hugging it close to her chest, she made up her mind.

There was only one way out for her.

There was only one way she can be with Kirihara again.

She closed her eyes and allowed tears to fall down her face. She felt bad for her _obaa-chan_ but she hoped she will understand.

_She was too tired._

_She can't live like this anymore._

_She wanted to be with Kirihara again._

_To laugh and share smiles with him again…_

Sakuno took one step forward…and then another, until she was near the end of the cliff. She looked down and saw that the drop was at least a hundred feet high. Below were sharp rocks and the raging water from the sea.

"Sakuno."

The voice stopped her from taking a step off the cliff. She turned around and saw Ryoma a few steps from her. He was slightly panting from all the running he did while searching for her. An apprehensive look was on his aristocratic face.

"Don't you dare," he ordered.

She frowned at him through her tears.

_How dare he?_

_It was his entire fault!_

_Everything was his fault._

_She__** hates**__ him!_

"Just let me go!" she begged. "_Please_, let me go…"

Without taking her eyes from him, she took a step back, and fell off the cliff.

Ryoma's eyes widened as he watched her fall.

* * *

Sakuno shut her eyes when she felt herself falling.

But then there was a painful pressure that gripped her arm and suddenly stopped the falling sensation.

Surprised and shocked, she glanced up and saw Ryoma holding her by her right arm. The prince had jumped after her. He used one of his swords as an anchor to the side of the cliff. It was soily enough that he was able to thrust his _katana_ deeply into its side.

However, now, they were both hanging for their lives, dangling over a dangerous hundred foot drop.

Ryoma cursed.

How are they supposed to get out of this situation now?

All of a sudden, they dropped a couple of inches lower. A portion of the sword got pulled out from the side of the cliff as a result of the pressure of their combined weights. Ryoma knew that the sword can't support them forever.

He must act quickly.

Sakuno also realized the dilemma that they were in. She felt guilty for dragging Ryoma into this. She didn't expect that he would jump after her.

Why would he even do that?

Why does it always seem like he…

She closed her eyes and tried to stop that thought process.

No, she couldn't.

_She's supposed to hate him._ He took Kirihara away from her!

When she glanced down, she noticed that the dagger was still in her other hand.

_That's right, if he won't let her go, she'll just have to make him_.

She tucked the dagger into her _obi_ and using her thumb and forefinger, unsheathed the blade from the scabbard. Clutching the handle of the dagger in her hand, she stilled her will to prepare for what she will do.

_It's for the good of everyone._

_She'll be happy with Kirihara in the afterlife. And Ryoma will be saved._

With that thought in her mind, Sakuno raised the dagger and stabbed Ryoma's hand in order to force the boy to release her and let her fall.

Ryoma had temporarily weakened his hold on her, but then immediately tightened it again.

Drops of blood trickled down the spot from where Sakuno stabbed the prince, and yet, he still didn't let go.

A trail of red liquid soon flowed down from his arm to hers.

His royal blood.

That was spilled because of her.

_Echizen-sama…_

Sakuno was stunned.

_Why?_

_Why is he so…?_

"Don't be stupid," Ryoma gritted out in annoyance, looking down at her. "There's no way I'm gonna let you go. So stop trying to make this hard for me."

Golden eyes darkened as he clenched his teeth from the pain of the wound and the strain put on it by holding Sakuno up. He can't keep it up. Something must be done.

And then, they heard a distant voice coming from somewhere near them.

"Lady Sakunoooooo. Lady Sakunoooo, where are you?"

It was Momo!

"Over here!" Ryoma yelled to catch the boy's attention. They only had to wait a few seconds before they saw Momo's spiky head peek out from the edge of the cliff.

As soon as he saw their situation, a look of panic crossed his face. Unfortunately, since Ryoma and Sakuno were a couple of inches lower from the edge of the cliff, he wasn't able to reach out and help them by himself.

"_L-Lady! Danna! _Hang on, I'll call for help!"

"_Matte_!" Ryoma called, forcing Momo to stay where he was. "There's no time. I'll try to raise her up and just help her over."

There was a hint of indecision in his retainer's eyes, but then he nodded and extended his hand downward as much as he can.

"_Yosh_, can you lift her up, Echizen-danna? We have to hurry!"

More blood spilled from Ryoma's wound as he attempted to lift the brunette up until Momo can reach over and help her up. Ryoma was able to accomplish the task, and as soon as Sakuno was within Momo's grasp, the retainer took her and pulled her weight.

She was just pulled over to the edge of the cliff when they both tensed as they heard the sounds of debris falling.

The sword, which Ryoma was holding on to, gave out as it was fully pulled out from where it was thrust in.

"E-Echizen-sama!"

"_Danna!_"

Momo and Sakuno weren't able to do anything but look in horror as Ryoma fell into the waters below.

* * *

**Japanese Vocabulary:**

_**Doushite?**_ – For what reason? Why?

_**Sou sou**_ – That's right, that's right.

_**Sore wa ikenai. Ikeneee yo **_– That's not allowed, not allowed.

_**Echizen-danna/ Danna**_ – Boss Echizen; Master Echizen; "danna" technically means boss

* * *

**Review please? :3**


	4. Turbulence

**I can't help but notice that the pace of this story is so different from the ones I usually write, but it's because this is originally supposed to be just a one-shot. And then before I knew it, I had already typed so many pages in my MS word. Oh gosh. Epic fail. But hopefully, someday, I'll be able to write a good one-shot. Lol.**

**To the ones who reviewed last chapter, thank you so much. You guys make me smile in the giddiest way possible : )**

* * *

**Turbulence**

_She hardly knew how to suppose that she can be an object of admiration to so great a man._

_- Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen_

* * *

Sakuno was sitting inside her own room and waiting for news—news that she dreaded to hear. At the sound of running footsteps coming closer, she stood up just as Momo opened the sliding door.

"Honorable Lady, they found Echizen-_danna_! He is currently at the infirmary of the mansion and being treated by a doctor," Momo announced to her with a relieved and jubilant expression on his face.

Sakuno did not share Momo's relief, however. Extreme guilt was weighing down her spirits like a ball and chain.

"H-How is he?" she asked so softly that it seemed like a whisper.

Her heart broke when she saw Momo's smile slightly drop. "He's a little banged up, but he'll be fine. The doctor said that there is a possibility for a hundred percent recovery."

Sakuno fiddled with her fingers, almost shaking from anxiety. At the moment, she didn't know what to do.

"Honorable Lady, aren't you going to see him?" Momo asked, slightly confused.

The brunette looked down.

_Should she? Does she still have the right to? After what she's done…_

* * *

She was kneeling by his side.

He was currently unconscious.

The doctors had given him pain medicine for all of his injuries. His body had sustained pretty harsh blows from when he fell down to the rocky water, but luckily, none of them was fatal.

Her hands trembled as she observed his face that was now full of bandages. He was lying down on a _futon_.

Completely still.

As if no longer alive.

_**And it was her fault.**_

Sakuno leaned forward toward his lying form until her forehead made contact with Ryoma's chest. In that position, with her face hidden from the world, she started to cry.

She cried on him.

Cursing her situation. Her destiny. Herself.

She was startled when she felt movement from the boy she was currently leaning against. Sakuno instantly straightened up and looked at his face.

His eyes were half-opened, staring at her. They were blank as usual.

But there was another emotion in his golden eyes.

Something she couldn't quite decipher. Something that has always been there whenever he looked at her lately. Something that held a hint of _warmth_.

"_D-Daijobu ka?_" he asked in a whisper.

More tears pooled in Sakuno's eyes, blurring her vision of him.

Even in his current condition…

Even after all she's said to him…

Even after all she's done…

He was still asking about her.

_Why?_

_Why is he doing all of these?_

"_Doushite?_"

The question came out before she can help it.

"Why did you still save me? Even after I stabbed Echizen-sama. Even after I said I hated Echizen-sama," she whispered. "Why?" Her watery brown eyes pleaded, begging him for an answer. She was so confused. So lost.

Ryoma averted his gaze from her and stared blankly at the ceiling.

Her muffled sobs were the only noises heard in the room for a while.

"You're my wife," was his matter-of-fact reply, as if that answered all of her questions. "Of course, I'll protect you."

* * *

It took two months for Ryoma to fully recover from his injuries. During that time, Sakuno had always been present to attend to his needs. Though she was docile, her heart still hasn't forgiven him. It was more out of guilt that she stayed by his side.

She still hated him.

And she should.

_Or at least, that's what she kept telling herself._

"He's going to melt if you stare at him more."

The voice snapped Sakuno out of her trance and she immediately blushed. She sent an embarrassed glance at Tomoka, the attendant who Ryoma assigned to look after her.

"I…" Sakuno hadn't realized that she had been staring at Ryoma. The young lord was currently surrounded by a group of _samurai_ elites who he had trained with. They were holding a small private party in Edo Castle to celebrate Lord Echizen's recovery.

She didn't mean to stare.

It was just that she was fascinated by the change of attitude he displayed when he was with his friends. Apparently, Ryoma was currently being teased and bullied by his seniors and he couldn't help but display an annoyed expression on his face. She thought he actually looked cute. The red-haired _samurai_, Lord Kikumaru if she recalled correctly, was even able to reach out and pat Ryoma's head teasingly. She was surprised that Ryoma had allowed the lord to do that.

He seemed completely different from what she knew him to be…

Perhaps she had been so biased that she failed to see the other good things in him.

"_Daijobu, daijobu_!" Tomoka said with a knowing smile on her face. "It is only natural for you to stare. He is really sexy and cool. For many women all over Japan, Echizen-sama is the epitome of manliness. You're so lucky to have him only to yourself, Sakuno-sama. He didn't take concubines and doesn't go to the pleasure quarters. He is so loyal to you! It is obvious to everyone how much he cares about you." Tomoka let out a romantic sigh. "To have the love of a prince, definitely lucky."

Sakuno stiffened upon hearing the words of her attendant.

_Love?_

No.

Someone like him who can order the elimination of an entire village…

How can he feel something like that?

She stilled her will against Tomoka's words—trying to shield her heart from them.

No.

She's not gonna fall for it.

She's not going to be deceived.

Once again, Sakuno unintentionally glanced at the area where Ryoma and his friends were located. At that moment, Ryoma also looked up and caught her eyes.

They stared at each other for what seemed like minutes to her.

Somehow, his gaze made her heart flutter and she flushed harder.

She immediately looked away and went off to talk to someone else…

_Anyone who can get her mind off the crowned prince._

* * *

"I'll ask somebody else to accompany you."

Sakuno frowned at Ryoma's proposition.

They were back at the district which was famous for its _kabuki_ plays. Unfortunately, Momo was unable to come to the trip this time around. He had family problems he needed to take care of. So at the moment, only Ryoma, Sakuno, and a few guards and attendants were present in the mansion of the province they were staying at.

Sakuno saw Ryoma start to walk away from her.

She felt that little emotion called guilt in her chest again.

Ryoma likes _kabuki_ plays too. Momo had told her.

And yet, he chose not to go with her.

Because she had said and always hinted that she hated his company.

_How cruel…_

Knowing she would regret it later, she called out, "_A-ano_…Echizen-sama."

The crowned heir froze in his steps and turned his head slightly to look back at her. He saw from the corners of his eyes that she was looking down uncomfortably and fiddling with her hands. He waited for her to continue.

"W-Would you like to go with me?"

She was blushing pretty hard by then. Ryoma noticed how pretty and alluring she looked acting all coy like that.

When he didn't give her a reply even after a minute of silence had passed, she started to fidget. He just kept staring at her.

"Is that okay with you?" he finally asked.

The brunette's brows scrunched in a cute way as she thought about the question. Her eyes flashed but eventually carried a determined expression when she looked up at him.

"_Hai_."

* * *

The play was good. It was about _shinju_, a ritual suicide committed by a pair of star-crossed lovers. Because the world had been against the idea of the couple being together, they both decided to commit suicide so they can be with each other in the afterlife.

Ryoma thought that bringing Sakuno to watch that particular play had been a mistake. He should've checked which show was playing in the theatre before bringing her to the district.

A glance at Sakuno's face told him that he had been right.

Her eyes were melancholy and sorrowful, as if the play had brought back painful memories for her. And just like that, she was cold and unreceptive to him again.

"_Do you believe in destiny?" _

"_Destiny?"_

_She nodded and turned to face him with a soft smile on her face. "Since I met Akaya-kun, I wanted to believe that destiny has brought us together, despite of how different our worlds are. I just hope that it doesn't tear us apart."_

_Kirihara looked contemplative as he stared at the stars that twinkled in the clear sky above them. Sakuno watched as the moonlight highlighted his features. It lit up his face and his emerald eyes, making them sparkle. _

_They were at their favorite clearing, enjoying the night together for the first time. Sakuno was able to sneak out that night from the palace and Kirihara also did not have any mission to do._

"_Nah, there's no such thing. We make our own choices and we live our own lives."_

"_Still, there are certain things that are beyond our control," Sakuno timidly rebutted._

"_If that's the case, then I'll fight against it."_

"_Eh?"_

"_I'm not going to let destiny tear us apart. So it better be ready to get a good beat up, if it ever tries."_

_His answer was a little too cocky and idealistic, but the optimistic grin on his face made her smile. And for some reason, she began to believe in his words._

"Aren't you cold?"

Sakuno was startled when she suddenly felt his warmth right beside her body. He had taken off half of his coat and draped it around her shoulders. Now, they shared his coat as one.

The brunette felt uncomfortable in their current position. Her arm was brushing against his as they continued to walk together, side by side.

They had just left the _kabuki_ theatre and were walking along a pretty deserted street that led back to the mansion. Since Ryoma had chosen to wear plain clothes that did not bear his clan or signify his status, people just mistook him for a regular _samurai_. He preferred it that way. Anonymity gave both Sakuno and him some privacy.

All of a sudden, a drunken _kabuki_ patron came up to them.

He shoved Sakuno toward Ryoma, making the brunette stumble and lose her balance. Ryoma caught her by wrapping an arm around her waist.

"You kids get a room and jus' do it already! No need to be so shy!" were the patron's drunken words to them before he passed by and went off ahead.

Sakuno heard a low growl from Ryoma as his hand automatically went to the hilt of one of his _katanas_. His eyes narrowed and glinted dangerously at the form of the person who had just roughly pushed Sakuno.

Alarmed, she clutched the front of his _gi_ in order to calm him.

"Echizen-sama…"

Her voice caught his attention. He looked down at her, eyes softening almost immediately upon seeing the worried expression on her face.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

A nod from her pacified him. _Somewhat_. He still felt a violent tendency to mutilate that man for hurting Sakuno.

"Thank you," she whispered, giving him a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

It was empty.

Broken.

Dead.

So different from the spirited smile she used to give him.

It made Ryoma's chest hurt.

To know that he had killed her inside…

He was well aware of what he had done to her. He had wronged her in the worst way possible. He had taken everything she loved from her.

_He had been utterly selfish._

_And yet…_

He still doesn't want to let her go. He still wanted her to be by his side, _just for himself_.

She was right. He is a _**monster**_.

_But still…_

'_Damn it…'_

Suddenly, his arm tightened around her waist. The hand that had been clutching his _katana_ flew to the back of her head, pulling her to his body. Ryoma buried his face in her hair and closed his eyes.

"_Sakuno_…"

The way he said her name came out as a plea. Seeking. Pleading. _Begging_.

She wasn't exactly sure what for, but it made her uncomfortable.

_No._

_She wasn't ready yet. _

_Not ready to forgive. _

_Nor forget._

_The memories are still fresh._

_The wounds are still open._

Gently, she pulled away from him, murmuring an awkward "_gomen nasai__" _before walking ahead of the prince.

* * *

Sakuno tried to remain cold toward Ryoma. She tried to preserve her feelings of hatred toward him.

But he gradually melted her resistance.

_**Slowly but surely.**_

"_A-arigatou_," she said, faltering a bit, as a maid had come out of nowhere and placed a blanket around her.

She was sitting on the veranda of the private chamber that she shared with Ryoma in Edo castle. Karupin was curled up on her lap and sleeping. The brunette had been busy watching the maple leaves fall from the trees in the garden so she was taken by surprise when the maid had appeared beside her.

The attendant bowed before Sakuno and quietly said, "It is Echizen-sama you should thank. He was the one who ordered me to bring you some blankets so you don't catch a cold."

Sakuno clutched the blanket around her—feeling the warmth of his considerate action.

Somehow, despite of his busy schedule and many obligations, he still finds the time to take care of her.

To watch over her.

_Always._

It just makes a girl feel really special.

Almost…lov—

_No!_

Her chest began to hurt.

_Kirihara's memories…_

_His voice…_

_His face…_

_His touch…_

Sakuno closed her eyes tightly.

She was desperately trying so hard to hold on to them but…

_They were starting to fade from her heart._

_**And that really scared her.**_

* * *

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

She paced in anxiety inside her private chamber.

They had just received word that someone had attacked Lord Echizen's troop as they were escorting the young heir to a political meeting with another lord from the Kawashi province.

All of the guards who were with the prince had been slaughtered. Ryoma and his personal retainer, Momo, were currently missing. The fact that they were absent from the site implied that they were still alive.

Still, she couldn't help but worry.

The sound of the door sliding had her looking up, expecting to hear more news about her husband. But the sight of the person who had entered paralyzed her.

It was Ryoma.

He was half-standing and half-leaning against the doorway.

She should have been extremely relieved, but his appearance horrified her.

His silk robes were bloody. His swords were bloody. His hands were caked with dried mud and blood. His greenish black hair too. There was a huge vertical cut on his face that was still bleeding. And his eyes…

His eyes…

There was so much pain and suffering in his eyes—as if he had literally gone to hell and back. His golden eyes constricted and dilated as they tried to focus on her.

Her face.

Her body.

Everything.

He took her in greedily, as if he had not seen her in _decades_.

"Sakuno…" he called out, his voice sounding so broken and hollow. It broke her heart.

He began to approach her.

The brunette backed away unsurely, but then he seized her arm, crushed her against him, and hugged her so tightly that she felt like she couldn't breathe.

"Sakuno…" he whispered desperately into her hair. "…Don't go…Don't…ever leave me…"

She felt his hold on her loosen and realized that he was falling into unconsciousness. She had the mind to try to support his weight but they ended up slumping to the ground with her cradling his upper body.

"E-Echizen-sama!" she worriedly called out.

At that moment, the palace doctors had arrived at her room and took Ryoma from her. They began to give him medical assistance while she watched helplessly off to the side.

"He's going to be fine. He didn't sustain any serious physical injuries."

Sakuno almost jumped at the voice. She looked beside her and saw Momo. Apparently, she had been too focused on Ryoma to notice when or how Momo got into her room. She was mostly in a state of shock.

Momoshirou was also bloody like Ryoma. He had cuts all over his face and looked like he just came from a brutal fist fight. Nevertheless, he looked much better than the prince. His eyes did not display the same agony that Ryoma's did earlier.

She unconsciously shuddered at the memory.

No one deserved to go through whatever he went through.

She was scared to find out what had happened to the prince for him to be in such a tortured state.

* * *

"Here, have some tea, My Lady."

Sakuno took the hot beverage from Momo with shaking hands. It was sort of ironic how Momo was the one who just came from a bloody battle and he was the one comforting her.

It should've been the other way around.

But Sakuno was too jittery at the moment.

She hadn't been prepared to see Ryoma in such a state. And she doesn't know why, but it hurt her deeply. It was as if she had been the one who was tortured.

By then, Momo was wiping his face with a clean towel. His injuries were less severe than Ryoma's and that's mostly the reason why he refused medical assistance.

"Momoshirou-san, I'll be fine. Please have them clean your wounds so you can rest as well," she softly told the boy with a ghost of a smile on her lips.

"_Sore wa ikenai. _I promised Echizen-_danna_ that I would personally look after you in times wherein he personally can't. And this, I believe, counts as one of those times."

Sakuno frowned, biting her lip. Her mind was once again back to Ryoma.

"W-What happened?"

Momo sighed deeply before he began his tale. He didn't know if he should tell her or not, but then, it might help if he does.

"We were ambushed when we were on our way here. There were only five of them, but they were skilled warriors. They had slaughtered all of our guards within ten minutes. Echizen-_danna_ managed to take down two of them. I took another two. The last one, however, was an exceptional fighter. He possessed a mysterious technique that allowed him to cast illusions."

"Illusions? W-what kind of illusions?" Sakuno asked. She doesn't understand much about fighting and battles, but she really wanted to know what had happened to Ryoma.

"He is able to trap enemies in a made up world wherein he lets them experience their own personal hell."

Sakuno's blood turned cold upon hearing such a cruel technique.

"It was realistically like hell. I only experienced it for about five seconds and it already made me almost pass out. Echizen-_danna_ had jumped in and saved me. Unfortunately, he received the full blow of the technique instead of me," Momo continued, an expression of remorse in his eyes.

"_Ano_...do people get hurt while under that illusion?" Sakuno asked, still not quite understanding.

"Not physically, but mentally and emotionally, yeah. And Echizen-_danna_…" Momo paused, not sure if he should continue.

"I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I believe Echizen-_danna_'s personal hell concerned something happening to you. He screamed your name again and again while he was under that illusion. It was an agonized scream too. It was really…" Momo frowned, narrowing his eyes in remembrance of how painful it was to watch Ryoma break down like that.

"He was yelling at someone to leave you alone. I thought he was watching you get violated or something."

When Momo noticed how Sakuno had became so still, only then did he realize that he probably had said too much. He cursed himself for not paying more attention.

"Ah, forget that! It's all good now!" Momo let out an uneasy chuckle.

"What's important is that we were able to escape alive. And…" he paused. "Lady Sakuno, if you would allow me to make a presumptuous request, please humor him for the mean time. The reason why he rushed to your room as soon as we arrived at the palace was to save his sanity. He wanted to make sure you were really alright. I definitely had a hard time convincing him that whatever he experienced was only an illusion. So, I'm begging you, Lady Sakuno. Please take good care of Echizen-_danna_. At least until he's fully recovered."

And she did.

She was by his side almost every hour of the day and even at night. She slept in the corner of his room, waiting for him to wake up.

There were times when he would murmur her name in his sleep.

Calling out to her. Begging for her.

And she would crawl toward him, hold his hand, and whisper assurances to him.

That she was there right beside him. And that she would never leave him.

His face often smoothed out after her whispers and his body would relax. However, he would still clutch her hand, as if afraid that she'll go away.

* * *

Two days passed before Ryoma regained consciousness, and then a week before he fully recovered.

Sakuno did not know how to act around him when he woke up. They didn't talk about what happened but she cannot get it out of her mind.

His personal hell concerned something happening to her.

For him to fear something like that.

It was…very touching.

And though she tried to deny it. To ignore it. To tell herself it was nothing but deception.

She began to acknowledge the depth of his feelings for her.

And she slowly melted.

Melted helplessly under the warmth of his affections.

_He had somehow managed to find a key to her locked-away heart_.

Sakuno kneeled before Ryoma and draped a blanket over him. She didn't think much of her actions. She thought she was only returning the countless favors he had done for her.

The prince had fallen asleep, sitting near a window. As the gentle wind blew in, it caressed his face and made his silky locks flutter in the air.

Sakuno couldn't help but stare at him more. He was really gorgeous, having the perfect male face that any woman can fall in love with. Smooth skin. Firm jaw. And his eyes… If only they were open, then perhaps, she can admire them too.

Before she knew what she was doing, she had already raised a hand to his face and gently touched his cheek. She didn't know why but she felt an unbelievable longing desire to touch him. To feel his smooth skin under her fingertips.

However, the moment her fingers made contact with him, his golden eyes snapped open and focused on her. They were murky, as if unsure about what she was up to.

Sakuno let out an inaudible gasp. Embarrassed beyond belief at having been caught touching him, she immediately withdrew her hand and tried to move away from him.

But he was quicker.

He caught her arm and pulled her down toward him. She couldn't do anything but let out a surprised _"oomph_" when she landed on his lap and was once again trapped in his embrace.

His warmth.

His masculine scent.

Everything surrounded her.

And she drowned in him.

Her eyes almost closed at the feeling, but then the dull ache in her chest brought her back to reality.

It wasn't right. She was _betraying _Kirihara's memory.

Reluctantly, she tried to disentangle herself from him, but he pulled her back to him again, resting his chin on top of her head as her face was pushed against his firm chest.

"Just for a while…" he whispered to her.

**_Let me hold you even just for a little while_.**

After hearing the desperation in his simple words, Sakuno couldn't find it in herself to protest. She was trying so hard every day to deny him. To _despise_ him. To stay away from him.

But it was futile.

Sakuno simply couldn't ignore the fact that…

_Her treacherous heart had started to yearn for him too_.

* * *

_**Next Chapter: **_Seductions, a surprise appearance of an older brother, and something else? Lol.

**Japanese Vocabulary:**

_**Daijobu ka?**_ – Are you alright?

_**Doushite?**_– Why?

_**Sore wa ikenai**_ – That's not allowed.

* * *

**Review buttons help save the day!**


	5. Transgression

**Rawr. I hate school. It gets in the way of everything and yet you can't escape it since education is apparently the hope for humanity. Lol.**

**I don't know when the next chapter will be uploaded. So, I apologize in advance now. Things came up, and unfortunately, I don't think I'll have any free time to write. It's sad since I actually wanted to finish this before I start school again but life interfered.**

**Anyway, thank you so much for your continued support. I wasn't gonna post this until much later but your inspiring reviews made me want to : )**

* * *

**Transgression**

_Selfishness must always be forgiven, you know, because there is no hope for a cure._

_- Mansfield Park, Jane Austen_

* * *

_"Kawaii!"_

Sakuno couldn't help but beam at the one-year-old infant in Lord Ryoga's arms.

They were currently having a small family get together at a private pavilion in Edo castle. Lord Ryoga, who is the current _daimyo_ of a province in Hokkaido, had come to visit them and show off his newborn son.

It was the first time Sakuno met Ryoga, the adopted older brother of Ryoma. Even so, she had quickly made friends with the older boy. He was not hard to get along with. Unlike Ryoma, he was outgoing and friendly, though she can still detect the infamous "Echizen arrogance" in him.

"Of course, he's cute. He's my son. Now, if you want a cute baby too, you can always ask me for help," Ryoga told her with a flirtatious wink.

"If you want your child's blood to be contaminated, that is," Ryoma gritted out in annoyance from his seat on his brother's right. He sent Ryoga a dangerous glare. Unfortunately, Ryoga just ignored the bone-chilling killer intent he was sensing from his little brother and continued to flirt with Sakuno.

Ryoma knew that Ryoga was mostly doing it to get under his skin.

And it was working, alright.

Working _really well_.

Ryoga chuckled easily. "So I guess the rumors about you being so protective and _possessive_ of your wife are true."

One of Ryoma's eyebrows twitched. "Who's spreading such rumors?" He made a mental note to ask his spies to gather data about them so he can punish them _appropriately_.

However, by then, his adopted brother was no longer paying attention to him since he had turned back to Sakuno with the baby in his arms.

"Wanna hold him?" Ryoga asked the brunette.

Sakuno's eyes widened in surprise and she shook her head immediately in protest. "N-no, it's okay. I've never handled infants before so I might—"

"Don't worry. Women have natural maternal instincts so I'm sure you'll do fine," Ryoga told her as he began to transfer his son into her arms carefully.

Sakuno had no choice but to awkwardly receive the infant. She cradled the small boy in her arms, making sure to support the infant's head. At first, the infant tensed upon being transferred into the arms of a stranger. But as soon as the little boy saw Sakuno's angelic face, he seemed to relax.

After all, infants have a preference for beautiful faces.

The brunette broke into a sweet smile, which was full of wonder, as she stared back at the baby. Hair was just beginning to grow on his scalp, but she can already tell that it will be the same color as his father's. His eyes, though grayish brown, oddly resembled Ryoma's.

It was somewhat logical to her since Ryoga's eyes look like Ryoma's too. She still finds it hard to believe that he is just an adopted sibling since they share so many similarities, looks-wise at least.

As she continued to stare at the infant in her arms, she couldn't help but imagine that Ryoma had looked like that little boy when he was still an infant himself. Her newfound affection for the child suddenly became stronger.

"See? You're doing great! Looks like you'll be a great mother," Ryoga complimented as he saw Sakuno gently rocking the infant in her arms.

At first, Ryoma didn't like seeing Sakuno hold a baby that was not _his_. He almost ordered her to return the infant to Ryoga immediately.

But then, when the sight of her rocking the baby in her arms fully registered in his mind, he felt an odd warm feeling in his chest—something that resembled the feeling of yearning. He couldn't help but stare at her and the child.

Sakuno had felt Ryoma's stare on her and curiously looked up, only to meet his eyes. She instantly blushed when she noticed the heat of his gaze. It was more intense and tender than usual. The brunette suddenly felt warm so she averted her eyes from him and looked back at the baby.

"So when are you going to give me an heir, my boy?" a new voice said from the opened doorway of the pavilion.

They all turned their heads and saw Echizen Nanjiroh, the current shogun, with a suggestive smile on his face.

"You can't let your brother outdo you, you know. And frankly, before I die, I'd like to be comforted with the thought of having a male infant to whom you can pass the throne to. Heck, make it five heirs! Or ten! I'll rest easy knowing that the Echizen clan would keep going."

"That's right. Why haven't you produced a kid yet anyway? You've been married for almost three years now," Ryoga interrogated the couple.

The topic made Ryoma and Sakuno uncomfortable. They haven't actually consummated their marriage yet, but the others don't know that. The only thing that the outsiders know about their relationship was that they were having trouble stabilizing it since they were still getting used to each other.

"_A-ano_…Ryoga-san, perhaps your Honorable Wife is already awake and is worried about where her baby has gone," Sakuno mumbled timidly.

"Nah, I told an attendant to inform her where we can be found if ever she wakes up. She's still tired from our journey so I doubt she'll be waking up any time soon."

To Ryoma and Sakuno's dismay, he went back to the topic they both desperately wanted to avoid.

"But anyway, don't tell me that _chibisuke_-sama here is not performing well. Is he not satisfying you?" Ryoga asked as he and Nanjiroh exchanged conspiratorial smiles.

"You can't blame me. I tried to teach him _multiple_ techniques. I guess it's not working," Nanjiroh added. He was trying to hold back a snicker but was failing horribly.

By that time, Ryoma was so embarrassed and pissed off that he actually walked out of the pavilion without saying a word to any of them.

Sakuno looked after his retreating form until it vanished. She felt guilt crawling into her system again. After all, her continued denial of his advances was the main reason why they haven't consummated their marriage yet.

* * *

"_Daijobu_?" Sakuno asked with a hint of concern in her voice.

She had found Ryoma standing on the veranda, absently looking at the opened courtyard across their private chamber. He turned his head a bit in order to glance back at her.

"_Aa_. Their banters just get too annoying sometimes. But I'm used to them."

The brunette nodded even though Ryoma had already turned his attention back to gazing at the white sand of the courtyard.

"Lunch will be served soon. So when you're ready, please join us in the main dining room."

She bowed before him and started to leave.

"You…" he suddenly said, making her stop and turn to him again.

"Hm? Did you say something, Echizen-sama?"

Since his back was still facing her, she wasn't able to see the red tint that appeared on his cheeks.

"You look good with a baby."

Her eyes widened as his words took her by complete surprise. She blushed helplessly for it was actually the very first time he had directly complimented her.

Sakuno couldn't help but be pleased. Of course, she also didn't miss the meaning that was implied by his words.

With the pretty flush still on her face, she bowed before him again and muttered a shaky "_a-arigatou_" before she went out of the room.

* * *

Some of them have pink flowers. Some blue. Some yellow.

They all have green bodies and stems.

And they were very thorny.

Sakuno stared at the variety of cacti before her. She had coincidentally met Lord Fuji in one of the gardens in the castle earlier. Somewhere between customary greetings and polite talk, they got into the topic of plants. Fuji had mentioned that he was actually quite fond of cacti and own a couple of them himself. Since Sakuno had expressed interest, he generously invited her to his private quarters in the palace to show her his collection.

"You shouldn't let the past hold you back."

Fuji's statement stole her attention and she glanced at him with bewilderment in her eyes.

"I hope you'll excuse my intrusion into your private life, but I have been observing you and Echizen-sama for a long time now," he admitted with a pleasant smile on his face.

Fuji bent down and lifted one of the pots of cactus before them. He examined the plant with his closed eyes. How he was able to do that, she had no idea whatsoever.

"Lately, you've developed some affection for him too. We can tell from the way your eyes soften whenever you look at him. That's why I couldn't help but wonder why you keep holding back."

Sakuno's hands unconsciously fisted in front of her _kimono_ as she contemplated Fuji's words. Somehow, the blue-eyed _samurai_ had managed to hit the point. It was as if he can read her like a book. It was actually kind of creepy.

"Do you want to know a secret?"

The frown on her pretty face was the only answer Fuji got, but it was sufficient enough for him.

"Echizen-sama was not the one who decided to destroy that _shinobi_ village you value so much."

Sakuno's eyes instantly froze on him as she was greatly shocked by his words.

Fuji's face turned serious. Gone was the kind smile that masked most of his emotions.

"It was a unanimous decision from the council of elders who believed they can no longer risk to allow such deadly warriors to exist in this time of peace. As long as powerful assassins are around, _samurai _rivals would always be tempted to hire them in order to eliminate their competitors. I do not expect you to understand this pessimistic logic, but it is how politics is run. Since the council needed the approval of a person from the shogunate, Echizen-sama was the one who gave the okay signal in place of his father who was busy dealing with another crisis at that time."

_So…Ryoma was not directly responsible?_

_Why didn't he tell her?_

_She had blamed him for their deaths all this time… She thought he had been selfish. That all he cared about was himself._

_Had she been wrong about him?_

"Being the leader of a great nation is not easy. Sometimes, you have to get your hands dirty in order to maintain peace in the land. It is a heavy burden that _samurais_ have to endure. They selflessly sacrifice the purity of their souls so they could protect their land and allow people to live in peace. For someone who already carries such a burden in his chest, feeling the hatred and disgust from the person he loves the most is the ultimate torture from hell."

Sakuno trembled.

She placed a hand over her heart to ease the burning pain that suddenly threatened to consume her.

_He's right._

_All this time…_

_She was the one who was making him suffer. And still, he…_

"Of course, Echizen-sama feels responsible for those _shinobis_' elimination and that is probably the reason why he never endeavored to explain the truth to you. That, and the fact that he still feels guilty about taking advantage of the situation when he forced you to marry him. It is an offense, indeed. He loved you way too much that he was prepared to do anything just to have you. That included taking away your freedom and consequentially, your happiness. I'm sure that taking away the latter from you is a thing that still tortures him, even now."

_Echizen-sama…_

_He unconditionally loved her even though her hatred for him was killing him inside._

_She had been so biased that she did not see how much he was really suffering for everything._

"We all have things we have done in the past that we regret and wish we could undo. Naturally, we suffer from our mistakes' consequences." Fuji picked a petal from the blue flower of the cactus he held in his hands. As Sakuno stared at him, she saw him reveal half of his gorgeous blue eyes as he gazed at the plant.

"Echizen-sama had suffered enough for a grave mistake he did in the past. Don't you think?" the sadist asked her with a mysterious smile on his lips.

Fuji left that question in the air and allowed Sakuno to think more about it.

* * *

"Echizen-sama, your Honorable Father and his advisers are waiting for you in the meeting room."

"_Aa_. I'll be there in a few minutes."

Sakuno paused at the doorway when she saw that Ryoma was having trouble with the clothes he was putting on. He already had his trousers on but he was having difficulties with his _kimono_. She wondered why there aren't any attendants available to help him dress. He has plenty of them, after all.

The brunette then felt a flush of embarrassment when she realized the reason. It was actually the wife's duty to help her husband put on clothes. But since she has been avoiding him for the most part during their entire marriage, she rarely performed the customary duties that wives do for their husbands. She was actually surprised that Ryoma had not complained about it. Perhaps, she had been really cruel to him…

With the familiar remorseful feeling in her chest, she quietly entered the room and came up to the young lord.

Ryoma's eyes held slight surprise when he found her standing before him with a lovely flush in her cheeks. Her eyes tried to avoid staring at his semi-exposed upper body.

Sakuno gently grabbed the midnight blue silk _kimono_ that was already partly on Ryoma. She held up the right half of the _kimono_ to allow him to easily insert his arm in its sleeve. As she slowly wrapped the rest of the _kimono_ over his body and tied the sash around him, her fingers brushed against the sides of his waist and his firm abs. The thin silk served as the only barrier between her and his skin.

Ryoma couldn't help but take a sharp intake of breath at the close contact. The brunette immediately withdrew her hands thinking she had upset him.

"_G-gomen nasa_—"

She was cut off when Ryoma seized one of her arms with inhuman speed and pulled her back to him, preventing her escape. Anxious, she looked up at him in surprise.

She saw that intense pleading expression in his eyes again. It made her heart beat so fast in her chest. He kept _begging_ for something. Something that Sakuno wasn't sure she can give him yet.

"Echizen-sama…"

It was a soft whisper.

Confused.

Naïve.

And so_** innocent**_.

It made Ryoma lose whatever control he had left in his body and he roughly dove in, hungrily crushing his lips against her soft ones.

_He had been holding back for so long. And he just __**can't**__ take it anymore…_

Sakuno's eyes widened as he cupped her cheek and brought her up to him. Ryoma tilted his head so he can have better access to her mouth. She felt like he was devouring her. His kiss was so urgent. So desperate. So _passionate_.

And she couldn't help but give in and close her eyes.

_Akaya-kun…_

_She has to think of Akaya-kun…_

However, the way Ryoma moved his lips against hers made her incapable of any coherent thought. It was as if he was forcing her _to forget_. _To not pay attention to anything aside from the two of them. Just him and her. __**No one else.**_

She let out an involuntary moan when his lips suddenly parted and his tongue brushed against her lips, asking for entrance.

Ryoma groaned back deep in his throat when she finally opened her mouth and allowed him in. His tongue searched and dominated inside her mouth. He ravished her. Tasting her greedily.

That was when Sakuno somehow managed to gather her wits and pull back from him, gasping for air.

"E-Echizen-sama…they're waiting—" she mumbled as she tried to pull away.

Ryoma grabbed her shoulders and pushed her against the nearest wall, trapping her in between the wall and his body.

"Let them," he gritted out as he bent down again and assaulted her with another passionate kiss.

Sakuno was drowning in him again. _Helplessly_.

What remained of the wall she put up around her heart finally crumbled into useless pieces.

_Gomen nasai…_

Tears ran down her closed eyes as she finally responded to Ryoma's kisses.

_Gomen nasai…_

After a few minutes, the prince momentarily pulled back to allow them both to catch their breaths. He rested his forehead against hers and began to search her eyes for an answer. Her response to his kisses earlier gave him a glimmer of hope.

_For her to finally show him her sweet smiles…_

_For her to finally accept his advances like that…_

_Is it possible that…_

"Have I been forgiven?" he asked, his cool voice sounding unsure and remorseful for the first time.

Sakuno closed her eyes and allowed more tears to fall down her cheeks. Ryoma brushed them away with a gentle swipe of his thumb.

When her brown eyes opened again, they were no longer hesitant or confused. They were sorrowful but they also held warmth and acceptance.

_Has she forgiven him?_

_No…_

_No, it's way passed that._

_She has…_

This time, when Ryoma bent down again, she brought her mouth up to meet his.

_No._

_She hasn't __**just **__forgiven him._

_She's _fallen_** deeply **__in love with him._

And as she finally gave Ryoma her everything for the very first time—life, soul, heart, and body…

There was a single lingering thought that painfully kept nagging at her chest…

'_Gomen nasai, Akaya-kun…Please forgive me.'_

* * *

"You seem to be full of energy, Echizen-sama."

Ryoma froze from wiping his face with a towel. He sent Fuji a calculating glance. Both of them were clad in training _jis _and _hakamas_. They had just finished sparring in the palace's _dojo_ and were now resting on the veranda in front of it.

"I guess it's not unusual since you have been _resting_ a lot in your private quarters lately. Word has it that you and Lady Sakuno barely leave your room nowadays."

Fuji gave him that creepy smile that he usually had on when the sadistic _samurai_ was up to something.

The prince looked away from him, blushing at the implication behind his words. It's so like Fuji to magically know about private things like that and then come back to haunt people about it.

Ryoma just stood up and gathered the bamboo swords he used to practice with. "I don't know what you're talking about." He decided that playing oblivious was his best defense for now.

The sadist merely chuckled as he watched Ryoma start to walk away.

"Whatever you say, Your Highness."

* * *

"Do you want me to accompany Lady Sakuno to the _kabuki _plays this year, _danna_?" Momo asked his boss as they were walking back to the palace. They had gone out to attend a party that was held by one of their seniors that night. Of course, to avoid scandal, they had dressed in plain clothes to disguise their status and ranks. They didn't want to be stared at by nosy people.

"I'll go with her this time."

His answer made Momo break into a toothy grin as he playfully nudged Ryoma.

"So it is true that you and Lady Sakuno are finally hooking up.'"

Ryoma looked annoyed as he found himself the target of another round of teasing. He seemed to have been getting it a lot from everyone around him. It's bad enough that his father won't shut up about it. Nanjiroh had been popping out left and right, suggesting certain medicines to increase potency, fertility, and such. _Keh,_ as if he needed the help of those anyway.

He and Sakuno are doing _great_ on their own.

The corner of his lips turned up in a slight smirk at the thought of his wife. She must still be waiting up for him to return as she has often been doing these past few weeks. Apparently, she couldn't sleep without knowing that he has safely returned to their room. He had moved back to his original quarters a few weeks ago. Now, they really shared one room just like a husband and a wife should.

Of course, Momo did not fail to notice the slight smirk on Ryoma's face.

"But that's good," Momo continued their conversation, which was mostly one-sided. "At least you seem a lot happier these days. We're all happy for you, Echizen-_danna_." He patted the back of his long-time master and friend to emphasize his point.

Ryoma couldn't help but appreciate his retainer's sentiments. He does feel a lot happier now that Sakuno has finally accepted him.

_Way happier_ than he thought to be possible for himself.

After all, he had caused her so much pain and suffering.

He never thought she would ever learn to accept his feelings for her.

It was almost impossible for him.

* * *

Tomoka let out a dramatic gasp upon seeing Sakuno carrying a heavy tray.

"Sakuno-sama! _Dame desu yo_!" the attendant girl lightly scolded as she quickly grabbed the tray, which was full of food, from Sakuno. "Echizen-sama would literally behead me if he ever finds out that I'm letting you exhaust yourself like this. It will be midnight soon and you're still up."

The brunette merely sent an apologetic smile to her attendant.

"_Gomen_, I wanted to surprise Echizen-sama by cooking some food tonight. It is his birthday tomorrow, after all."

She heard Tomoka sigh as the girl started to set up the dishes of food on the low table that was in Ryoma and Sakuno's private chamber. There were multiple dishes of cold fish, pickled vegetables, colorful rice cakes, and some steamed rice.

"You should have at least asked me for help, Sakuno-sama. You weren't feeling well again this morning, remember? Perhaps, you have caught a bad stomach flu. I keep telling you that you should tell Echizen-sama about your ailment. It might be something serious."

Sakuno shook her head, the smile still on her face. She had been feeling nauseous and had been throwing up quite frequently for the past three days, but it might be because of something she ate. Fortunately, Ryoma gets up early and is usually gone by the time her ailment would start to act up. If not, he would've cancelled everything he had for the day, just to stay home, and look after her. Not to mention, he probably would've summoned every doctor available in Edo just so they can assure him _multiple_ _times_ that she will be alright.

Her eyes softened in admiration of her husband. She still doesn't understand exactly what attracted him to her so much. For a prince like him to even pay attention to a servant girl…

It's still incomprehensible to her.

"He's busy preparing for ceremonies and I don't want to disturb him with nonsense. Please do not worry. I'm sure it will be gone in a day or two."

Tomoka sighed once again. "If you say so, Sakuno-sama. Well, if you don't need me for anything else, I'll be taking my leave now." A teasing smile suddenly showed up on her face as her eyes narrowed a bit. "I'm pretty sure Echizen-sama would want to be _alone_ with you tonight. _As usual_."

Sakuno blushed with shame while Tomoka merely let out a soft giggle. After another bow, she saw her attendant walk out of the room, leaving her alone with embarrassing thoughts about the prince.

'_M-mou_…' she thought helplessly.

Tomoka definitely loves to tease her a lot about her private moments with her husband.

* * *

_A few minutes before midnight..._

Sakuno was almost falling asleep when she heard the sliding door open again.

_That must be Ryoma already. He's finally home!_

Feeling excited, she immediately stood up, straightened out her scarlet _kimono_, and rushed toward the door intending to greet her husband.

"_Okaeri_—"

The brunette's face instantly paled and the words died on her lips when she realized that Ryoma wasn't the one who entered her room. Her brown eyes were frozen in shock as she tried to take in the image of the person before her.

_It can't be…_

He was clad in all black, as usual, though his clothes were tattered and dirty this time. He looked almost exactly like he did three years ago, except there were new scars on his face that haven't gotten a chance to completely heal yet. The only thing that changed the most was…

**His emerald eyes.**

_It can't be_…

**His emerald eyes have changed so much.**

The light in them was gone and was replaced by a mixture of emptiness and bitterness.

Kirihara's eyes slowly traveled down from her face to her neck, and then to her chest, until they finally focused on the golden crest that was embroidered on the top part of her _kimono_—the crest that bore the Echizen clan symbol and officially marked her as Ryoma's wife.

As he continued to examine the crest, she saw a strong emotion suddenly flash in his defeated green eyes…

_**The pain of betrayal.**_

At that point, he made it clear to her that he knew.

_He knew everything about her and Ryoma. _

It pained him to no end to personally confirm that she had really turned her back on him. Broken her promises. **Betrayed** him. The _shinobi_ desperately tried to keep the pain inside him as he looked up again and met her eyes.

They stared at each other in agony—both hurt merely by being in the presence of each other.

And then, Kirihara suddenly smirked. It was a sad version of the cocky and optimistic smirk he used to give her. It made Sakuno feel like someone had cruelly squeezed her heart for a few seconds.

What made her finally shatter was what he told her next. It was the same word he used to whisper tenderly to her whenever he returned home from a mission—back when they still believed that there was room for them being together in this world. _Back when they thought that nothing could stand in the way of their happiness._ He never failed to say it back then. And he still remembered, even now…

"_Tadaima_."

_'Even though I'm not the one who you want to welcome home anymore.'_

* * *

Ryoma and Momo were still a few feet away from Sakuno's chamber when they sensed an unfamiliar presence appear near her private quarters. It was only brief and then it was gone. Worried, they instantly broke into a run to get to her faster. They were further alarmed when they started to see the passed out _samurai _guards who littered the hallways as they got closer to their destination.

When they finally reached the room, the prince basically slammed the sliding door open, his instincts on full-alert. He looked around wildly, scanning every inch of the area. He was panting hard from his sprint.

_Sakuno…_

He was about to rummage the entire chamber when something made him stop in the middle of the room.

He saw the dishes of food on the table—now all cold. His heart clenched in painful remorse when he recognized that they were dishes that Sakuno had cooked for him. She had probably wanted to surprise him with a home-cooked dinner tonight.

_Sakuno…_

And then…

With completely cold hands, Ryoma took the white piece of paper that was left under one of the tea cups on the table.

"Echizen-_danna_! Did you find—?"

Momo paused when he saw Ryoma standing so stiffly in the middle of the room. In his hand was the white piece of paper he had found on the table.

Curious, Momo walked over in order to read what was written on the paper. As he got closer, he can't help but finally notice that the words on it were actually written in pure **blood**.

It read…

"_**Just like how you took away everything that mattered to me,**_

_**I will also take away the things that matter to you the most.**_

_**HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR PRINCE.**_

_**- K.A."**_

Ryoma suddenly crumpled the paper in his hand in fury. His golden eyes narrowed dangerously as he desperately tried to control his temper.

_She's gone…_

_He had taken her away from him. __**Again.**_

Finally overtaken by intense pain and anger, the prince closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He clenched his fist so tightly that it dug into the skin of his palm.

_Sakuno…_

_**Their few moments of happiness could not last forever, after all.**_

* * *

_**Japanese Vocabulary:**_

_**Kawaii**_– cute

_**Daijobu**_**?**_ – _Are you okay?

_**Aa**_ - Yes

_**Dame desu yo!**_ – You can't do that

_**Okaeri/ Okaerinasai**_ – Welcome back; Welcome home

_**Tadaima**_** – **I'm home.

* * *

**Please review! :3**


	6. Torture

**Sorry for the delay of this chapter. But to make it up to you guys, I will post two chapters this week!**

* * *

**Torture**

_Those who hate most fervently must have once loved deeply; those who want to deny the world must have once embraced what they now set on fire._

- Kurt Tucholsky

* * *

Sakuno awoke to the uneasy feeling that someone was watching her. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and glanced around her surroundings. There were a few lighted candles that illuminated the place but she didn't recognize the room she was in.

_Where was she? What happened to her?_

Her memory was hazy. There was a dull throbbing pain in her head.

The last thing she can remember was seeing…

_Emerald eyes._

There was a pair of emerald eyes that was watching her from a dark corner of the room.

Alarmed, Sakuno quickly sat up on the _futon_. Her eyes never left the mesmerizing green eyes from that unlit corner.

"Heh, finally up?" a very familiar voice asked.

It was the same voice she remembered from so long ago. Cheerful and carefree. Not bitter and cold. Simply hearing that voice again made her heart constrict in pain.

He soon stepped into the light of the room and the features she saw were exactly like from her memory. There was a mischievous sparkle in his green eyes and a smug grin on his lips. He wasted no time to approach her and she soon found him kneeling on a knee, merely inches away from her.

_He was just like the Akaya-kun from years ago._

_The one she treasured and longed for in her dreams._

"Sa-chan…" he whispered her name softly as he looked at her with a loving and tender gaze. Every time he whispered her name like that, he always made it seem like he was telling her how important she was to him. How much devoted he was to her. How much he _loved _her.

It exacerbated the ache in her chest for she longed so much before for this scene to happen again. So many times. In her dreams.

Sakuno felt him place a hand under her chin, raising her head toward him.

"I missed you." He started to close his eyes as he leaned over to capture her lips in a kiss.

She almost fell for it.

She wanted to succumb to this illusion.

The part of her that continued to long for him begged her to fall for it.

However, the searing ache inside her chest never left. For she knew…

Somehow, she knew that the Akaya before her was nothing but a painful memory. Someone from her dreams. No matter how much she wished it was the other case. Because in reality, he's…and she's…

Sakuno closed her eyes and bowed her head.

"You're not…Akaya-kun."

And with her soft and simple words, the spell was broken.

The Kirihara before her froze, his eyes somewhat widened in temporary shock. It didn't take long for him to change his expression, however, as an amused smirk slowly made its way to his lips when he moved away from the maiden.

"_Sou nan da_. I see that you're still as sharp as ever."

The voice that spoke to her has changed. She didn't recognize it.

When she looked up again, Kirihara was gone. In his place was a stranger, who was clad in a similar all-black outfit that Kirihara usually wore. He had spiky silver hair, a pair of mischievous, yet dangerous blue-green eyes, and a barely noticeable mole on the right side of his chin.

The apprehensive expression never left Sakuno's face, which eventually prompted the man to say, "Ah, that's right. I almost forgot. You probably don't recognize me."

He ran a hand through his spiky silver hair and let out an amused "heh."

"That's kinda hurtful since we've met so many times before. But then again, you never saw my true face." His eyes simmered with unspoken intention under the flame of the candles as he said his next words in a lower tone. "Not until now, that is."

Sakuno's brown orbs widened in realization. He must be the _senpai_ that she had met under different disguises in the marketplace. One of Kirihara's _senpais_.

An easy chuckle escaped from the man.

"You can call me Niou, but don't look at me like you're seeing a ghost." He moved to the other side of the room where the huge sliding window was located.

"Obviously, not every _shinobi_ from Rikkai was eliminated as you all believed."

With a quick movement, Niou opened the window and Sakuno immediately shivered from the cold wind that blew into the room. It extinguished the light of the candles, but the ethereal bluish light that poured in was enough to light the place for them.

Sakuno realized belatedly that the bluish light was caused by the mixture of the whiteness of the snow and the light given off by the moon.

"A day before _samurai _troops attacked our village, our leader assigned Akaya a mission. It was the last mission he was supposed to do for us before he quits," Niou started to explain, looking at the snow that blanketed the fields outside their room.

"Since I was the best tracker, I was assigned to follow the brat and make sure he gets his mission done. It was supposed to be an easy work—one that was commissioned by a high _samurai_ official who used the code name _Eri_. But when Akaya and I got to the place, we realized a bit too late that it was a trap. I barely escaped my captors. And though I tried to look for him everywhere, I couldn't find Akaya anywhere. Of course, when I went back to the village to ask for back-up, I found nothing but burnt-down huts and dead bodies."

Niou glanced back at Sakuno. He was just in time to see her wince when she heard his last sentence.

"After fruitless searching for a few more days, I finally assumed that Akaya was executed. I was pretty surprised when he appeared before my eyes like a ghost one night in the civilian village I was currently staying at. From what he told me, he was captured by whoever set up the trap and was casted off to an unfamiliar land—Tibet, he suspected. That was where he was held captive in the basement of an old temple that was guarded by monks. He could've easily overpowered them if they were ordinary monks, but they had techniques that were similar to ours. They shackled him with beads and chains that mysteriously sucked the life energy out of a person—just enough, however, to keep him alive. For three years, he was imprisoned in that place."

The former _shinobi_ crossed his arms as he leaned against the wall next to the window. His eyes concealed whatever emotion he was feeling at the moment, though a slow smirk formed on his lips.

"It's pretty impressive that he was able to survive all of that and come back to us, huh? Unfortunately, he came home to find that his village had been obliterated and the girl he loved was married to the man who ordered the killings of his family. Pretty harsh, if you ask me."

Niou used a light tone when he spoke about the events but Sakuno was able to sense that there was some accusation in his tone. With a heavy heart, Sakuno finally spoke.

"What is…Akaya-kun planning now?" she asked in a hesitant voice.

The silver-haired _shinobi_ sent her an incredulous look. "I thought you would've suspected it by now. What else but revenge on the man who caused all of his misery?"

That was it.

The thing that terrified her the most.

She kept back her tears and weakly argued, "But Akaya-kun doesn't understand. Echizen-sama wasn't the one who really ordered the execution. The council of elders—"

"You're the one who doesn't understand Akaya."

Niou's words hit her like a quick splash of cold water. Painful, harsh, and _merciless_.

The pitiful look on her face softened him a bit.

"I guess if you think about it from a different perspective, no one is really guilty. We're all caught in this sickening web of fate. We're just forced to act out our roles in this play that destiny created for us. There's nothing you can do but just accept it. No matter what the end result will be, you're bound to lose one of them. Or both."

A play of emotions flickered across Sakuno's face. For a second, it seemed as if she wanted to protest, but no words came out of her mouth.

"Just sit this one out, alright? I have no ill will toward you but I won't hesitate to raise a hand if you proved to be uncooperative. Be a good girl and stay here unless we tell you to do otherwise." He sent her a playful wink before he left her alone in the room.

_Just let things be as they are…_

_That's easier said than done._

_How is she going to bear all of it?_

_How is she going to bear the loss of the two most important men in her life?_

Mentally and emotionally exhausted by recent events, the brunette slumped back on the _futon_.

_What is she going to do?_

_What is she __**supposed **__to do?_

* * *

"Any news?"

Lord Kaidoh bowed before the military commander and the two other officials in the room.

"I'm afraid not, sir," he responded in his deep voice before looking up at Lord Tezuka. "Officials all over Japan scoured every town in their lands and found no traces of Lady Sakuno or the one who kidnapped her."

Honorable Secretary Inui, who was situated on the commander's left, adjusted the spectacles on the bridge of his nose. "The one who captured her was a _shinobi_. Naturally, we would encounter difficulties when it comes to locating an opponent who specializes in concealment and disguises."

There was silence in the room as they contemplated their situation.

"How did he escape the destruction of his village?" was Tezuka's question to the other official on his right side.

Lord Fuji looked thoughtful before he answered. "That remains a mystery to us since we performed a body count before we left the village and all the _shinobis_ were accounted for. Unless somebody staged a switch…"

He left that thought in the air.

"He took an important hostage, and yet never left any terms for negotiation." There was a pause, and then Tezuka asked again, "What is Echizen-sama doing at the moment?"

"Out looking for her. He refused to sit still at times like this," Fuji replied.

The royal secretary let out a tired sigh. "His efforts are futile. There is a high chance that he will only exhaust himself. If that _shinobi_ wished to remain hidden, he will remain hidden, until he finally decides to contact us. At the rate the prince is going, he will be so weakened when that time comes."

The grim look on Fuji's face reflected what he was thinking at the moment.

"That might just be _his_ real intention."

* * *

The snow continued to fall on the mountain side they were at.

It covered everything in white—making everything look like a blank canvas.

Though he was standing at the opened doorway, vulnerable to the cold wind that was brought by the snow, he barely felt chilled. He was spacing out again—thinking. That's all he's been doing since he had escaped from his prison.

"I'm going out to survey the place before we move out tomorrow. I'll send a message once I confirm that we're clear."

Kirihara didn't bother to glance behind him to know that it was his Niou-_senpai_ who had spoken. Technically, he was now the deemed leader of the illusionist _shinobi_, since Yukimura had appointed him to be the next leader before their village was destroyed.

The younger _shinobi_ merely nodded. He moved aside to let Niou pass through the doorway.

"By the way," Niou uttered as he was putting on layers of scarves on top of his commoner disguise. "You might want to check on your hostage. She refused to take in anything so she hasn't eaten since yesterday. I think she might be sick."

From his peripheral view, Niou saw Kirihara's shoulders tense. He knew that he had hit a sore spot, but Kirihara didn't say anything in reply.

"Try not to have too much 'fun' while I'm away."

Before Kirihara could strike at him, he was gone.

* * *

Sakuno turned from watching the scene outside her window when she heard some shuffling outside her door. She was expecting Niou, but was arrested when she found Kirihara standing on her doorway instead.

He was carrying a simple meal on a tray—just some soup and water.

The _shinobi_ looked at her with a cold expression in his eyes. It was the second time they laid eyes on each other and yet the feelings of bitterness and despair still remained.

Kirihara was the first to break the eye contact as he shifted his eyes and glared toward the side.

"Eat," he simply commanded as he placed the tray on top of a low table in the room.

When Sakuno didn't move from her spot, he raised his voice.

"I know it's not the extravagant meal you're used to at your _grand_ palace, but it would have to do. Don't expect me to treat you like a princess like _he _does. It's not going to happen."

His words were bitter and sarcastic. They hurt her like no other and she wasn't able to do anything but glance down at her hands.

"It's- it's nothing like that," she said weakly. "I just can't keep anything down at the moment."

For some reason, her words seemed to irritate him more.

"Look, I personally don't care if you starve yourself to death, but do it after I accomplish my mission. A dead hostage would do me no good. After you've fulfilled your purpose, then you can go rot in hell for all I care."

He let the words fall out of his mouth easily, but in reality, the way he talked to her ate him from the inside out.

There was silence, and then a rustle of fabric as Sakuno brought up a hand to wipe the tears from her eyes. She desperately tried to hold them back but his words just hurt too much. Especially when they came from him.

"Akaya-kun—"

"_Don't _call me that," he hissed. His emerald eyes narrowed down at her—though as much as he tried to look at her in anger, he can't. And he hated himself for it. For being so easily affected by her.

"I'm sorry…" she whispered, pleading.

"Stop it."

"I'm sorry…"

"Damn it, I said—"

She fell down to her knees and bowed before him.

Kirihara's resolve shook, and for a moment, he battled the urge to go to her and comfort her. To wrap his arms around her like he used to. But no, he can't do that anymore. He's not supposed to do that anymore.

"Please…I'm so sorry," she continued to beg, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed. And he hated it. He hated seeing her like that. It clawed at his heart.

"You're sorry?" he asked, smirking bitterly. "What can your sorry do? Can your sorry bring back my dead friends? Can your sorry bring back my village?" he yelled, before stooping down and grabbing her arm to hoist her up so she would look up at him.

"No, it fucking can't! And do you know whose fault it was? Your cursed husband's since he thinks he can get anything he wanted in this world and just step on people who he thought got in his way." His hold tightened on her arm painfully.

"And of course, you refuse to see his faults since you're so biased when it comes to him."

She looked up at him and saw the hurt in his eyes—the pain that she caused him.

"What was it, _Sa-chan_? Was it his position in society that attracted you? Was it the material things that he was able to provide you that I couldn't?" His gaze flew to the embroidered clan symbol on her silk _kimono_. The physical proof of her betrayal. It never failed to mock him for what he lost.

"Or was he that good in bed?" he asked in a dangerous low voice, his eyes changing from emerald to red for a second. "Tell me!" he yelled and in a sudden fit of rage, he grabbed on to the embroidered symbol and ripped it from her clothes.

"Akaya-kun, please—"

He didn't stop there and started to rip the rest of her garments from her body. Sakuno struggled against him uselessly.

"…please…!"

He continued to rip despite of her protests until all that was left of her clothes was the white inner lining of her _kimono_.

"…please, Akaya-kun…!"

Kirihara was about to tear the white lining until the sound of something heavy fell from her garment and hit the wooden floor.

It distracted him and snapped him out of his frenzy.

Still panting from his recent outburst, the _shinobi_ glanced down and spotted a familiar black dagger lying a few paces from him. It was the dagger that he gave to her before he left her three years ago.

___"Always carry this with you so you can always have a part of me." _

It was the symbol of their bond. **_Of what they used to have anyway._**

He was startled to find that she still carried it with her even after all these years. Even after she got married to Ryoma. Even after she gave her heart to the prince…

It was proof that some part of her continued to remain his. Only his. Even if she couldn't tell him that since she knew that nothing she could say would ever excuse her for what she has done to him.

And just like that, all the affections he felt for the girl suddenly flooded back into his system, temporarily overpowering his hatred and anger at that moment.

His gaze slowly returned to her.

She was propped up against the wall, pitifully holding whatever remained of her garments to her body. She was shaking from fright. Her eyes were still full of tears and were so sad.

To be hated by a person you loved so much…

Sakuno didn't know it hurt that much.

So much that death would've been a welcome thing at that very moment.

But she knew she deserved it.

Deserved every second of torture he wanted to put her through.

So she would endure for him. If this would ease Kirihara's burden a bit, then she'd gladly endure for him.

Suddenly, she thought of Ryoma…

This was similar to what she put him through during the early years of their marriage.

Her vision started to blur though she attributed it to the accumulation of her tears. But then, she started to get dizzy and the world around her started to spin.

_Echizen-sama…_

_Did it hurt this much?_

_Did I also put you through this much pain?_

_I'm so horrible..._

_Causing this much pain to the people I love…_

_Maybe…_

_Maybe I do deserve to die…_

Those were her last conscious thoughts before everything went pitch black.

* * *

"Echizen-_danna_!"

Momo stopped his horse when he got closer to his master. The prince was walking toward his own horse, ready to mount it and move to the next town, but Momo suddenly appeared before him.

When Ryoma turned to face him, the spiky-haired _samurai_ saw the anxiety and pain in his haunted eyes. Momo felt like he was reliving the experience of seeing Ryoma go through the torture of that illusionist they once encountered.

Because it is similar.

He was in hell without her.

But there was more to the prince's suffering this time.

_Was that a sense of defeat? Or guilt?_

"Did you find anything?"

Ryoma's question brought Momo back to reality, and when he realized what his boss asked, shame flickered in his eyes. He bowed and shook his head regretfully.

"I just received a message from the palace and there are still no developments."

He saw Ryoma tense when he said his reply. The heir looked away from him to hide his disappointment.

"Continue searching," were his quiet words to him as the prince moved toward his horse and prepared to take off. Before he can get close to the animal, however, Momo suddenly blocked his way.

"_Danna_, perhaps you should rest for now. Even just for a night." Momo frowned at the younger boy.

Ryoma hasn't eaten or slept for a second ever since Sakuno was taken from the palace. And that was two days ago. Momo knew from the haggard look on the prince's face that he was dead tired. But Ryoma refused to rest, not until they find Sakuno, he said.

"I don't have time," Ryoma stubbornly replied, moving to the right to bypass Momo. To his irritation, his loyal retainer also moved to the right and continued to block him from mounting his horse.

"If you continue on like this, you'll end up dying first before we find her. Then who's gonna rescue Lady Sakuno?"

Ryoma gritted his teeth. He was tired, restless, and really short on patience.

"Get out of my way," he commanded.

Momo refused to move from his spot and just sent his master an imploring look. It was his duty, first and foremost, to obey his master's commands. But he was also worried about his master's health.

"_Danna_—"

"Get lost!" Ryoma yelled, surprising Momo. Though he had shown irritation toward him before, Ryoma had never shouted at him. Furthermore, he wasn't really doing anything but just trying his best to take care of his master.

Ryoma saw Momo hide the hurt in his eyes as he bowed his head down. Feeling somewhat guilty, the heir just turned his gaze away from him. He didn't mean to be harsh. It's just that he felt like he was wasting time arguing with his retainer when he could be spending it looking for Sakuno.

Who knows what _he_ was doing to her at this moment?

Ryoma suddenly remembered the vision he had while he was under the illusionist's spell and his heart pounded in anger, renewing his strength. He really had no time to argue with Momo.

He must find Sakuno as soon as possible or he might just really lose it.

"You're nothing but my servant," he unfeelingly told his friend before he went to the left and passed by the other _samurai._ "You have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do."

Too shocked by his master's words, Momo just stood there, feeling like he had just been completely trampled on.

Nevertheless, his will was firm and the decision was made in his mind. Before Ryoma could get away from him, Momo turned around and prepared to attack the prince. Ryoma's senses were so dulled by fatigue that he didn't even feel Momo attack him until the retainer had hit a pressure point on his neck to make him pass out.

Momo caught the heir in his arms before Ryoma fell to the ground. He held his master close to him. His eyes were sorrowful and full of guilt.

"Even if I'm nothing but a servant to you, you're more than just a master to me," Momo quietly told him. "And I simply can't watch you slowly kill yourself."

Before he lost consciousness, Ryoma was able to send a furious glare at the other man.

"I'll…kill you…for this…"

A sad smile appeared on his retainer's face.

"You can do that once you're better," Momo whispered to the unconscious prince. "_Sumimasen_, _danna_…"

* * *

When she woke up, she felt a cold towel on her forehead. She was also covered by a blanket to keep her warm.

Despite of that, she felt horrible.

Utterly horrible.

It was as if she had been caught in a twister and got slammed into different places.

There was a movement on her right side that caught her attention. When she turned her head, she finally realized that there was someone watching her from the doorway.

It was Kirihara.

One of his hands was grasping the sliding door and there was a hesitant look on his face—like he was debating against doing something. When she caught his eyes, he flitted his gaze away as if afraid that she'll read whatever it was he was thinking.

"Here," he finally said after an awkward silence as he threw in a bundle that was wrapped in simple paper to her.

"Change into that. We'll be moving in the afternoon so you might want to rest as much as you can."

The package landed right next to Sakuno's supine form. She tried to sit up, using her elbows to prop herself up, but she was too weak to do it, so she just landed back on the _futon_. She hasn't eaten in two days so she couldn't summon the energy to do anything.

Kirihara felt a stab in his chest when he saw what he was doing to her.

But he forced himself to stay where he was at and not to come to her aid.

_Damn it._

_What's he thinking?_

_She's his enemy's wife._

_A hostage._

_Whatever they had in the past should be forgotten and ignored._

_That's right. He should stop living in the past._

_This is their present._

_They were enemies now. _

_Not lovers._

Still feeling as if someone had punched a hole through his chest, he looked away from her and left her alone in the room.

* * *

"This is treason. You should all be executed for this."

Ryoma glared at Lord Fuji through the iron bars of his prison room in the palace underground where he was temporarily kept. As he refused to listen to any of their words, they resorted to locking him up to ensure that he doesn't escape or do anything reckless.

Fuji merely smiled—a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Your father was the one who thought of this, so I don't think it counts as such."

"_Che_," Ryoma spat out, still pissed off. "None of you understand any of this."

"I think you're giving us too little credit. In fact, I'm pretty sure I can comprehend the situation better than you since you are too emotionally compromised to think straight at the moment."

"How do you expect me to stay here while Sakuno—"

"Lady Sakuno _is_ fine. I am confident that he wouldn't hurt her. I don't think that he can make himself do it even if he wanted to."

Ryoma didn't reply. The conviction in Fuji's words made him see the logic behind them.

"Echizen-sama, we are only doing this for your own good. We won't be able to do anything until he sends information about what he really wants from us."

Ryoma clenched his fist beside him, his golden eyes darkening. "I know what he wants."

The brunette _samurai_ glanced at him questioningly.

"No matter what, I need to get her back," the heir said, indirectly changing the subject.

"At this point, you don't have a chance of succeeding."

The prince narrowed his eyes at his senior, offended by his lack of faith in him.

"It's not because of the difference in your skills. Although I believe he does have an advantage for he knows mysterious techniques that we, as_ samurais_, do not practice. But you're also a formidable warrior so that's not an issue. I'm mostly concerned about your _will_ to succeed in this fight."

Fuji looked away from Ryoma.

"Guilt is a vicious parasite that eats at people's hearts. It weakens a person and makes him more vulnerable to the hatred of the one he wronged. At this point of time, I don't think you have enough will in you to win if you two should fight. Mostly because you believe in your heart that you are truly guilty of wronging him, and thus, you believe you deserve some kind of punishment."

Ryoma's eyes flashed upon hearing the other man's words. It was frightening that Fuji has the mysterious ability to read into people's most guarded thoughts.

"I know that Lady Sakuno serves as an inspiration for you to have the courage to face your opponent. But you're also uncertain, are you not?" Fuji asked, getting straight to the point. "You have doubts in your heart because you know…you know deep down that despite of the fact that she accepted you, a part of her heart still belongs to _him_. It might forever stay like that. And you know that there's nothing you can do to change that."

The prince was oddly quiet as he just stared blankly at the ground.

_Of course, he knows that._

_He has always known that._

_But even so…_

_Even if she can only give him a part of her heart, he was fine with it._

_It was good enough for him._

_In fact, it was so much more than he could ask for._

_But if she took it back and returned to __**him**__…_

"What makes you vulnerable to him is the fact that you're scared that Lady Sakuno would end up choosing_ him_ over you. That's your greatest fear, and at the same time, also your greatest weakness. Because you know, that once she does make that choice, you'll probably give up. You'll sacrifice yourself and let them be finally happy together."

Fuji opened his eyes and stared at the prince with a sympathetic expression.

"Regardless of Lady Sakuno's decision, you must find another reason to survive. Only that would ensure that you would live through this battle and successfully rescue her from your opponent. That is why…I will now give you another reason to fight. There _is _another reason why you should win against him."

Ryoma finally glanced up, confused as to what Fuji was talking about.

"I wanted to let her tell you the news herself, but I have reason to suspect that even she doesn't know about it yet."

* * *

_**Japanese Vocabulary:**_

**_Sou nan da_** – So that's how it is.

_**Sumimasen, danna**_ – Sorry, boss.

* * *

**I almost forgot. If you guys have free time and want to see some pretty cool RyoSaku fan arts that go well with my stories, I recommend you to see a picture video I made a few months ago.**

**Just type my username on youtube and click on "His Answer."**

**Have fun and don't forget to leave a review!**


	7. Torment

**And here is the next chapter for this week, just as I promised. The following one won't be up for a while though since I will be busy again. But we'll see. ****Hopefully, I will be able to finish this story by then too. I know I said it would only be 4-6 chapters, but again, I lied. Lol. The end is near though. Maybe only 2-3 chapters away?**

**Anyway, thank you so much to the people who reviewed last chapter! You guys are major inspiration to aspiring writers like me! I love you all :)**

* * *

**Torment**

_On that day, I watched helplessly as my heart crumbled in silence._

_Even if I scream as I break, these unforgettable memories __that mingled with hatred and pain will continue to flow into my eyes._

- _Colors of the Heart_, Uverworld

* * *

They were moving to some place.

She didn't know where, since she was just following him obediently.

They were disguised as a monk and a priestess, travelling together for the sake of begging for alms for their temple.

Or at least that's what they looked like anyway.

Out of necessity, she had finally eaten some noodles and some broth at a food stand they passed by earlier. Though her stomach rebelled against it, she tried to keep the food down since she knew she needed some source of energy. At the rate she was going, it won't take long before…

And then what?

She doesn't know anymore.

She doesn't even know why she wasn't thinking of escaping. Part of her knew that even if she tried, she won't make it too far until Kirihara finds her again.

But then, she knew that there was also another reason…

Was it because she was too _guilty_ to?

Perhaps, it's because she knew she owed Kirihara something.

Some form of atonement that can lessen her sins.

She really doesn't know anymore.

Everything's just muddled together in her mind.

And Echizen-sama…

He must be so worried by now. She just hoped that he was faring better than her.

"What's wrong with you?"

Sakuno was startled by the question. She glanced up at Kirihara and saw that he was looking at her with mild irritation in his eyes. It was then that she realized that she had fallen down, kneeling on the thick snow on the ground, most likely due to exhaustion. She didn't even feel the cold. What's happening to her?

"_G-gomen nasai…_" was her weak reply. It seems like that's all she's been telling him ever since she was kidnapped.

She tried to get up, but fell again.

Guilt flashed in Kirihara's eyes.

When she tried to do the same movements without any improvement, he finally had it. He approached her and offered his hand, despite of protests from his logical mind.

He knows.

He knows he shouldn't be doing this.

_It's like a pitfall. He's dooming himself._

But he just can't stand to see her like that anymore.

Sakuno frowned as she stared at the hand that he was offering. Her eyes slowly travelled to his face, trying to discern why he was offering her some help.

He glared toward his side again, avoiding her eyes.

"I told you. A dead hostage won't do me any good."

Of course.

What was she thinking?

It's not like he still cares about her. In fact, it's the exact opposite.

With a heavy heart, she accepted his hand.

* * *

They had stopped at multiple inns on the way to their destination. They just stopped to eat and rest.

She didn't know why, since Kirihara didn't seem tired whatsoever. She almost entertained the idea that he was doing it for her sake, so she wouldn't feel as burdened.

But then, that might be just her wishful thinking.

She trained her eyes ahead and finally noticed that they were nearing a rural village. There were multiple huts surrounded by empty fields. As they entered the community, she finally realized that the locals of the area were all farmers.

Sakuno looked at Kirihara's back. He was walking ahead of her so she wasn't able to see whatever expression he had on his face, but there was a nagging suspicion in her gut. Something felt familiar to her. She just couldn't pinpoint what it was exactly.

Before she can devote more time to pondering, she heard distant voices. They were coming from some children playing.

"_Kagome, kagome…_

_When will the bird come out of its cage?_

_The turtle and the crane slipped out at dawn…_

_But who's the one beside you?"_

When they got closer to the voices, she saw a group of young children, most likely from ages three to seven, huddled together in a circle and playing the old game next to one of the huts in the village. One of them looked up when he noticed her and Kirihara approaching.

The boy, who was most likely only four, stared at them for a long time before his face broke into an excited grin.

"Aka-_niichan_!" he shouted loudly. The other kids were bewildered for a while, but soon followed their friend's gaze.

"_Ah, hontou da!_"

"It is Aka-_niichan_! He finally came back!"

Sakuno saw Kirihara stop from their walk as he was soon surrounded by the kids.

'_Akaya-kun knows these children?'_ she wondered to herself.

She saw Kirihara place a hand on the four-year-old's head as he lowered himself on a knee in order to be eye level with the kid.

"Long time no see, little brat. I see that you finally grew. I was kinda worried that you're going to be pint-sized forever," Kirihara told the kid as he affectionally ruffled the boy's hair. The little boy just laughed at Kirihara's teasing.

"I've been sleeping good and drinking tons of cow's milk as I promised!"

Kirihara chuckled and Sakuno felt her heart stop for a second. It's been so long since she heard him let out a genuine chuckle like that. She used to hear it a lot when they were together.

"But you still have a long way to go before you can actually surpass me." Kirihara suddenly trapped the kid's head in his arm as he continued to ruffle the boy's hair. The other kids surrounding them laughed at their friend's demise.

"Ah, _nii-chan_, did you bring us sweets this time?"

"It's been so long since you actually visited us!"

"We thought you forgot about us!"

"_Oi, oi_. So impatient. How could I forget?" he chided, digging into his robe for a small bundle, before bringing it out. He unwrapped the bundle and the kids were pleased to see tons of cutely shaped sweets that were made of brown sugar. Each of them happily took one until there were none left.

"_Ah,_ _arigatou, nii-chan_!"

"You're the best!"

"Don't forget to bring us some again!"

Sakuno felt so out of place as she continued to watch him interact with the kids. She fondly remembered that Kirihara has always liked kids. He always treated them like his own younger siblings, especially since he grew up as an orphan himself. Since his _senpai-tachi_ had found him and adopted him as their own little brother, he felt like returning the favor to other kids as well.

"_You're the one who doesn't understand Akaya."_

She felt a pang in her heart as she remembered Niou's words.

That's right.

She doesn't.

And she doesn't think she could ever understand him.

To have your closest friends get taken away from your life just like that…

The people who he treated as his only family in this world…

And then, her…

No wonder.

No wonder he would feel so much hatred.

If only she can do something to erase his pain.

To make him smile at her again…

_She wanted so much to see his smile again…_

But she knew that it's impossible now.

"_Nii-chan_, since when did you get such a pretty girlfriend?" one of the kids suddenly asked as he stared at Sakuno. The brunette was a little startled by the question. She had been too busy staring at Akaya that she didn't realize that the kids were bound to notice her sooner or later.

She intertwined her hands in front of her and looked at the ground. She didn't know how to answer the kid's question.

Kirihara had stiffened. Suddenly, his face became serious again. His emerald eyes lost their sparkle and had turned more opaque.

"It's nothing like that," he replied icily. Even the kids detected the change in his tone. They wondered if there was something wrong between him and the pretty lady.

"She's just…" Kirihara trailed off. "…a friend from a long time ago," he finished.

Sakuno tried not to be affected by his words, but to hear him refer to her in such a detached way was just too painful. As the kids were now all quiet and were repeatedly looking between her and Kirihara, she tried to force a sad smile on her face as she bowed before them.

"It's nice to meet you all," she said softly, in the steadiest voice that she can muster.

The kids hesitantly bowed back to her as well.

* * *

They stayed in a small but cozy cottage in the farming village. Niou stopped by once in a while to say hi to them, and to report some things to Kirihara that she never really heard.

Kirihara barely talked to her, only communicating with her when necessary. He was often out during the day so she barely saw him too.

As she was not permitted to leave the cottage, she spent most of her time inside, trying to do chores since she got bored. Her stomach acted out from time to time, but the nausea was getting more manageable. As days went by, she eventually became more comfortable.

It almost got to the point wherein she was getting used to their simple life in the village. If there was nothing amiss in their situation, she would've thought that she acted like a normal housewife—often waiting for her husband to come back every night while she prepared dinner for him.

That was when it hit her.

A farming village.

And the fact that Kirihara was somewhat familiar with the people in this particular village.

It might just be…

It might just be the same farming village that Kirihara had once planned to take her to.

So they could live peacefully as a husband and wife. With some kids.

They could've been so happy together.

If only…

If only things didn't happen.

_If only things turned out differently…_

Then perhaps, they really could've been happy.

_And she wouldn't have to imagine…_

* * *

She had fallen asleep waiting at the dining table.

There were some days when Kirihara wouldn't come home until it was very late at night. Usually, she would've been sleeping already as he instructed her to do so, but she decided to wait up for him tonight.

Sakuno didn't know how long she was asleep until some sounds outside woke her up. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and was surprised to see Kirihara already in the room when she looked up.

The _shinobi_'s eyes were questioning when he saw that she was still up, until they finally settled on the covered dish on the table. Seeing that he already noticed what she prepared, Sakuno quickly uncovered the dish in order to reveal what she had cooked for him that night—_yakiniku_. His favorite.

Kirihara frowned unsurely.

"What the hell is this?" he asked coldly.

Sakuno tried her best to smile up at him before she explained. "A neighbor gave us some meat, so I thought I would make some _yakiniku_ tonight."

She actually hasn't had dinner yet since she was waiting for him to arrive.

Kirihara didn't do anything but just stare at the food on the table. And then, acting as if she never offered anything, he just passed by her and went into his own room without saying another word.

The brunette felt stupid for being ignored just like that. Not to mention, his rude avoidance also stung.

But then, she reminded herself that she deserved it. She deserved every bit of pain he can possibly inflict on her.

Blinking away tears, she shakily stood up from her own seat and just covered the ignored _yakiniku_. She felt like she just lost her appetite so she also went to her own room and prepared to go to bed.

Sakuno didn't see Kirihara leave the next morning. She deduced that he must have left early.

But when she looked at the _yakiniku _she had left on the table last night, she was surprised to find that only about a quarter of it was left.

He did eat the meal she cooked for him, after all.

And though she knew that she shouldn't think too much about it, she couldn't help but smile.

It was pathetic…but it made her smile.

* * *

"Is…the soup not good?" she asked when she saw that Kirihara hasn't even touched his own portion yet. He was absently staring at her clothes—the same priestess outfit that he had given to her before they moved to the village.

He noticed that the white _gi_ was getting thinner from overwashing and that the once bright red _hakama _had started to fade and become frayed. Not to mention, she was always shivering from the cold of the winter.

It was only when Kirihara noticed that her eyes were still staring at him questioningly that he finally realized that he hasn't given her an answer yet.

Standing up, he looked away from her.

"I'm not hungry," he murmured before leaving the kitchen and settling back to his own room.

* * *

She was surprised when she found a neatly wrapped package on top of the table the next day. The paper on top of it indicated that it was for her. She also recognized the handwriting. It was Kirihara's.

Curious, she slowly undid the rope that bound the package and opened the parcel. Inside was a beautiful bright yellow _kimono_ that had light floral designs. It was matched by a solid black obi that had the softest texture.

She suddenly felt a presence near her and glanced up.

She saw Kirihara. He was standing a few feet away from her and observing her as she held the _kimono_ in her hands.

"Don't read too much into it. It was just some junk that I picked up while I was at the market."

She knew at once that he was lying. _Kimono_ of this texture and design can hardly be considered junk. Besides, it must have cost him a fortune to obtain it since it was almost similar to the silk _kimonos_ that she often wore at the palace.

"T-thank you," she stammered out unsurely.

"Like I said, it's nothing. I just don't want you to die of cold, since you're obviously too stupid to put on more layers of clothes most of the times."

With those words, he went out of the cottage and left her alone for the day.

She really didn't know what his gift meant and before she can ponder on the possibilities, there was a firm _thud_ that stole her attention. Something fell from the _kimono_ that Kirihara had given to her.

Looking at the ground, she found a familiar looking dagger that she thought she had lost in the previous place where Kirihara first took her to.

She deftly picked it up and examined it in her hands.

The ruby glowed fiery red as she wrapped her fingers around it.

It was oddly warm.

Closing her eyes, she hugged the dagger close to her chest.

_Akaya-kun…_

He returned the dagger to her.

_But why…?_

_Why are you suddenly doing all of these?_

She really didn't know.

She was more confused now than ever.

Did he mean to be cruel by deliberately reminding her of what they once had?

_Or was it…an apology?_

* * *

She was like a goddess.

To him, she has always been like a goddess.

Kirihara couldn't tear his gaze away from her as she laid on top of the _futon_ in her room. He had come home pretty late that day and just wanted to check on her before he sleeps. But it was a mistake. Once he saw her, he found himself unable to leave the room.

Sakuno's long hair fanned out behind her while a few strands of shorter hair framed her pale face. Her eyes were closed in a peaceful slumber. Her breathing was even and slow.

Her face was turned toward him a bit; her luscious lips were slightly parted in an inviting manner.

She was _so _beautiful that it hurts.

Before he knew what he was doing, his feet moved on their own and took him to her side.

As if hypnotized, he bent down and settled himself right beside the sleeping girl. His hand unconsciously moved toward her silken hair. He sifted through it until his fingers finally tangled in the strands that were closest to him.

They were still as soft as he remembered them to be. His eyes semi-closed in painful remembrance of the countless times he played with her soft hair while he held her in his arms.

He hadn't seen her for three years—three long and _agonizing _years—and yet, he could attest that she really hasn't changed much. If anything, she became even more radiant and enticing. Though she was completely covered by the yellow _kimono _that he had given her, his eyes can easily discern that her body had become more womanly. It may be partly due to the fact that she got married.

Kirihara's train of thought suddenly stopped.

The nostalgic expression in his eyes turned to sharp anger that was mingled with bitter pain.

_That's right._

She's not his anymore.

She belongs to someone else—someone who he vowed to make suffer and to kill, to be more precise.

She's not his Sa-chan anymore.

And he is not the Akaya that she once knew.

He wouldn't let his old feelings for the girl interfere with his mission. He has a duty to avenge the deaths of his friends, who he regarded as his only family. The family that those self-righteous _samurais_ eliminated in cold blood.

Kirihara finally let go of the few strands of brown hair that he held captive in his hand. He turned away from her and grudgingly closed his eyes, welcoming the onslaught of pain in his chest.

Damn it.

Damn it all.

But it's how it should be…

The _shinobi_ soon stood up and left the room without another glance at the brunette.

'_Even though there was once a time when I truly believed I could be happy with you…'_

* * *

"Hiro-kun came by earlier today," Sakuno said to break the silence at the dining table.

She was referring to the four-year-old boy who had greeted them when they first came to the village. She had long found out that he was the one closest to Kirihara among his group of friends. It was also not difficult to guess that Kirihara was very fond of the boy as well.

Kirihara sent her a glance. He wasn't expecting her to strike a friendly conversation with him, though she had tried many times before. There was a soft smile on her face as she continued to relate what happened earlier that day.

"He was looking for you and when I told him that you weren't present at the moment, he had such a sad look on his face that I was enticed to make him lunch. Apparently, he liked my cooking so much that he promised to stop by again tomorrow even though I told him you might be gone again."

There was silence and just when Sakuno thought that Kirihara's going to ignore her again, like he often did, the _shinobi_ spoke.

"That brat's just taking advantage of your kindness," Kirihara mumbled in a detached voice, but there was faint amusement in his green eyes. "Well, can't really blame him. Sa-chan's cooking is really the best in—"

He caught himself just in time before he said the rest of his sentence.

He almost did it—talked like nothing had happened between them.

Sakuno noticed it too and her brown orbs slightly widened in surprise.

Kirihara suddenly stood up and pushed away his unfinished meal.

There was an awkward silence between them, both not knowing how to continue from then on.

The brunette tried to look into his eyes. He turned his head away, but not before Sakuno caught the confusion in them.

Wanting to escape as soon as possible, Kirihara left the room immediately.

* * *

Kirihara was slowly losing his resolve. He was tempted and intoxicated by the bliss of their peaceful domestic life, though it was only temporary.

The more he spent time with her alone in the cottage, the more he wanted to just forget about his revenge in favor of spending the rest of his life with her in the village. Just like they had originally planned.

There were multiple times when he was tempted to wrap his arms around her and tell her that he's forgiven her. That he's ready to move on if she would still accept him. That they can finally be happy together.

But the sorrowful expression in her eyes when she thought no one was watching her told him that it will never happen.

He knew that she was thinking about _him_ from time to time.

Not to mention, the loaded looks that Niou sometimes sends him were constant reminders of what he's forgetting.

He can't do it.

He's not allowed to do it.

Fate had decided a long time ago that people like him—people who have tainted their hands by taking the lives of many people—were not meant to be happy.

It was like karma. He had to pay for all of his sins somehow.

So there was no way that he was allowed to be happy.

Perhaps, that's what Yukimura-_taichou_ and Sanada-_fukubuchou_ were telling him back then. He didn't realize the painful truth of their words until now.

And yet, his heart still strongly revolted against it.

As if it was a trapped animal that desperately wanted to escape its fate.

He just wanted to be with her…

_Is it really too much to ask?_

* * *

"What are you doing?"

Kirihara turned his head and glared at his _senpai_.

"What the hell does that mean?"

Niou easily ignored the glare and glanced at the fireplace in the cottage instead. "Why aren't you attacking yet? Wasn't that your plan in the first place?"

His question silenced Kirihara for the mean time.

"I'm doing just as I planned. I want to make_ him_ suffer by taking her away from him. Then when he's weakened beyond the point of having no will to live, that's when I'll kill him with my own hands."

There was a loaded pause after Kirihara said his words.

"Are you sure it's not because you wanted to keep her to yourself?"

The older _shinobi_ received a heated glare as a reply. As always, he wisely decided to remove himself from the younger man's presence before he suffered the consequences of probing too much into the other's private business.

"Go to hell, Niou-_senpai_!"

* * *

Sakuno got up early and was alarmed to find out that Kirihara hasn't come home yet. He left yesterday early in the morning without uttering a word to her and hasn't come home since then. He never did that in the past.

She wondered if it had anything to do with what happened between them the other night.

The day passed by slowly and he still didn't appear. She was getting paranoid that something had happened to him.

Dusk had fallen when she heard some stirring near their door. Expecting the person to be finally Kirihara, she turned around and dropped the pot that she was cleaning in her hands when she saw him stumbling into the cottage.

There was a big gash on his forehead that was spilling some blood. He was flushed and was wobbling as he walked toward the kitchen.

Sakuno was so scared that she abandoned whatever she was doing at the moment and ran to him.

"Akaya-kun, your forehead!" she cried as she approached him.

Kirihara immediately shoved her away, making her fall to the floor.

"It's…It's none of your business," he mumbled, slurring a bit.

That was when she noticed it—the smell of _sake_ in his breath. He's drunk and he's injured. The worst possible combination in the world.

Scrambling up, she tried to approach him again, but with more caution this time.

"Then please…please let me at least dress that wound on your forehead."

He chuckled, but it had a bitter ring to it.

"Why do you care, Sa-chan? It shouldn't matter to you what…whatever the hell happened to me, right? You have your prince to fall back to once you get rid of me. So it shouldn't…it shouldn't matter."

He leaned against the table for support. He was losing his balance as he felt the world spin around him. Sakuno worriedly placed a hand on his arm.

"Then- then at least go to bed," she whispered. "You're losing more blood this way."

Kirihara looked at her and smirked predatorily. The _shinobi_ suddenly flipped their positions. He trapped her against the table, his arms on either side of her as he towered over her. He looked into her eyes but there was pain in his emerald orbs.

He leaned toward her slowly.

At first she thought that he was going to kiss her, but he simply settled his lips dangerously close to her ear.

"Sa-chan…" he whispered in a husky voice, which made her unconsciously shiver. "Sa-chan…" he repeated, but with agony this time. He placed an arm around her waist and hugged her close to his body. As his self-control was repressed by the alcohol in his system, he was finally able to act on his own desires without much thought.

"Why? Why did you fall in love with that bastard?" he whispered in anguish.

Sakuno was so still.

She didn't know _**how**_ to answer.

She didn't know _**what**_ to answer.

"_I loved you_." There was so much meaning in those three words.

"I frigging loved you so damn much that all I thought about in that prison hell was you. Every day, I would hang on to life because I knew you were waiting for me. I _thought_ you were waiting for me! But damn it…damn it…"

He tightened his hold on her. She didn't notice she was crying until she felt the wet trail that her tears left when they started to fall from her eyes.

"I loved you, Sa-chan…but what the hell was I to you?" he gritted out, still feeling that darn pain in his chest no matter how many bottles of _sake_ he consumed. Nothing could ever take away the pain in there. _It just won't go away._

"What _am_ I to you?" he asked, finally breaking.

Kirihara bowed his head and rested it against her chest.

He was in agony. He was hurting so much.

He just wanted them to go back to how they were before.

_To continue their dreams…to fulfill them…_

He was ready to forget what happened if only she would too.

But amidst all of his jumbled thoughts, there was suddenly something that bothered him.

It was faint. But he was able to detect it, not only because he was so close to it at the moment, but also because it was a force that was somewhat repelling him—similar to a barrier that protected her from him.

His eyes widened as the mere thought of what he suspected it could be sobered him more as seconds passed by.

_No…_

_Fuck no…_

He instantly let her go and distanced himself from her, his eyes still wide in a state of disbelief. Sakuno was looking at him with a confused expression as she was wondering what suddenly caused him to act that way.

Kirihara's eyes shifted from her face to her abdomen, where he felt the faint, but definite growing life force.

It was like a wake-up call for him.

Reminding him that he can never relive the past. That things have already gone too far to be reversed.

_She's pregnant. __**Pregnant with that bastard's child.**_

He clenched his teeth desperately to contain the pain that became more intense—almost blinding.

All of a sudden, the soft feelings were gone, only to be replaced by pure anger and hatred.

Sakuno continued to stare, but now with worry in her eyes.

And then, for the first time, she witnessed it.

For sure, this time.

She was sure that his eyes had turned from emerald to red.

_The eyes that she loved so much…_

_His emerald eyes were really gone, along with the Akaya that she loved._

* * *

The sound of approaching footsteps disturbed Lord Tezuka from reading an important document in his private quarters. Before long, he heard soft knocks on his door, followed by an apology from one of his servants.

"Pardon the intrusion, but we have recovered something that had been delivered to the palace." The servant bowed in respect before straightening up and handing the military commander a scroll.

Tezuka didn't waste any time and unrolled it immediately.

He read the words:

**_"Let's end this_**

**_Where it all began_**

**_At the place where all three of us collided for the first time_**

**_I'll wait for you at the hour of the boar._**

**_Come if you dare._**

**_-K.A."_**

Looking up from the scroll, Tezuka glanced back at the servant. But before he can ask the question, the servant beat him to it.

"The scroll was recovered from the cell where Echizen-sama was temporarily being held."

"And where is he now?"

The servant swallowed before delivering the bad news. He had the inkling feeling that he will be executed for saying his next words.

"Echizen-sama has escaped from his cell and is nowhere to be found."

* * *

_**Japanese Vocabulary**_

_**Nii-chan**_ – big brother

_**Ah, hontou da! **_– It's true!


End file.
